Simpsons Did It!: “Holidays Of Future Passed”

Potentially fun fact:  this episode was produced as a possible final episode when cast contract negotiations were uncertain.

It obviously is not the last episode.

How fun that fact is depends on you.

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, so that means Marge wants the family to pose for the Christmas card photo, and while Bart and Lisa don’t see the point, we’re told they will someday.  And with that, we get a montage of a the next few decades worth of Christmas photos that set up the rest of the episode.  See for yourself.  Or don’t.  It’s a free country.

That shows some sad fates indeed.  Lisa married Milhouse?  And unless I missed something, Bart’s two sons by his silent ex-wife Jenda don’t get named during the episode.

So, what does the future hold?  Well, Lisa and Milhouse have a teenage daughter named Zia who prefers to be zonked out online than deal with her mother.  Milhouse is somehow even more pathetic due to being allergic to all kinds of Christmas stuff, so he’s going to spend time in Michigan, one of those states that outlawed Christmas at some point and may still be under Sharia law (it is).  Lisa opts to take Zia to her parents’ house.

By the by, thanks to gene sequencing, there is no Milhouse in Zia.

Bart, meanwhile, is living in Springfield Elementary where Principal Skinner is now Landlord Skinner, and Bart is missing both the rent and a 30 year old geography project.  That’s when his ex sends his sons to spend the holidays with him against the will of both sides.  They can hear Bart’s thoughts because it’s the future.  Bart can hear them squabble during the teleportation.  Bart likewise decides to take his kids to his parents’s house.

As for Maggie, she’s pregnant, and a famous rock star with three bandmates, any of which might be the father.  Even they aren’t sure.  She’s been told to stay silent for medical reasons and decides to go home to her parents’.  There’s some Bible stuff involved there, so I’ll leave this out, but Maggie says absolutely nothing the entire episode while being the voice of her generation.

That actually fits into the first future-cast episode where it’s remarked Maggie has the voice of an angel.  She still didn’t talk.

So, what’s the problem?  Lisa can’t relate to Zia and blows off Marge the same way Zia blows off Lisa and doesn’t see the irony.

Meanwhile, Homer is just a ton of fun with Bart’s sons, who like Homer more than Bart.  And this is a Homer who doesn’t drink anymore and seems to hate that very much.

However, some lessons are learned.  Lisa, who’s been talking to Nelson on the side because, you know, she married Milhouse, eventually hacks into the computer and finds out Zia idolizes her.  Problem solved.  Well, not the one for Milhouse in the burka, but you get the picture.

Homer takes the boys to see Grampa.  Grampa is cryogenically frozen because he got a bad disease and was waiting for a cure.  They found a cure, but the freeze was cheaper than the home, so Grampa is still there.  Homer thaws the old man out only to have Grampa start ranting at Homer, teaching the valuable lesson that most kids don’t like their fathers at various points, and Bart vows to act at least like a legal adult and not the ten year old he’s still emulating, bringing him and his boys together.  Heck, Homer decides to let Grampa come over for Christmas.

And that when we learn Maggie had a girl.

So, yeah, sweet stuff.  Now get Milhouse that prayer blanket.

And why do they keep cloning Ralph Wiggum?