September 28, 2022

Gabbing Geek

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Simpsons Did It!: “The Food Wife”

In which Marge wants to be the fun parent for a change.

Wait, wait, wait…how it is Homer doesn’t become the food blogger?  He was a successful food critic at one time!

But it’s true.  Somehow something food related comes up and Homer’s not involved.

See, every Saturday (provided Bart and Lisa were good for the whole week) is Saturday Daddy Fun Day or something and Homer takes the kids out somewhere fun, like cemetery paintball, or go-carts in real streets, or in this case a video game convention that doesn’t end when Homer, Bart, and Lisa come home.

Maggie, for this entire episode, never gets to go anywhere.  Poor kid.

At any rate, Marge wants to be fun, too, so she convinces Homer to let her have a Saturday and tries to take the kids to the X-games.  Unfortunately, she screwed up and they ended up at the cross-games run by  Ned Flanders and Rev. Lovejoy, where despite the name there were no games or sports of any kind.  Driving home, Marge finds her car’s “dead squirrel in the engine” light come on again, stranding the family in a neighborhood that makes Marge nervous.  But the kids are hungry so they try their luck at an Ethiopian restaurant, and after some goading from her children, Marge orders a large…something from the menu.  And…it’s delicious.  Marge’s tastebuds start singing.  Bart and Lisa love it too.  And then in walks the Comic Book Guy, Sideshow Mel, and some other self-identified foodies (voiced by Tim & Eric, you know, Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim…I’m told they have an Awesome Show that does a Great Job, but I’ve never seen it so I can’t say, and Wikipedia tells me the characters had some silly names, but I won’t repeat them since Tim & Eric have maybe three lines each).

That gives Marge and the kids an idea:  become food bloggers themselves.  The thing is, Homer for some reason has no interest in this food.  Why does Homer turn his nose up at food?  Something about how he prefers things he’s eaten before, and that means his refrigerator or one of the four Krustyburgers he can see from his kitchen window.  But as the Three Mouthketeers become inexplicably popular, Homer gets a little jealous.  He has some tickets to a particularly dangerous-sounding new attraction at Krusty’s amusement park, but Marge scored three seats at the trendiest new restaurant in town.  El Chemistri makes all kinds of food using science.  So, wait, why not invite Homer?  Homer actually agrees to go.  What can go wrong?

Well, Marge was enjoying being the fun parents, and then The Dream came along:

When Anthony Bourdain, Mario Batali and a host of other food personalities prefer Homer and Gordon Ramsay steals your own dream, you really have problems.  What will Marge do?

Well, she gives Homer the wrong address.  And to be fair, the one Marge gives does cook on the premises with chemicals.  It’s just a meth lab.  Homer doesn’t realize it right away, but fortunately, Chief Wiggum bursts in to bust the cook before Homer can inhale anything.  And when Marge hears about it, she goes to the rescue.  Fortunately, though the fancy chef was angry with her, he did give her a doggie bag for the dessert of a very small sphere of perfected apple pie, and Marge used a slingshot to get it into the meth cook’s mouth, with the resulting Ratatouille-ish taste sensation letting Homer escape and so the two can both be fun parents by taking the kids to Krustyland and then telling them to get lost.

Fun parenting, apparently, involves spending as little time with your children as possible.

And then as I give this one a final proofread, months after I originally wrote it, I see Mario Batali’s name is in the news for very bad reasons.  Eep.

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