December 9, 2023

Gabbing Geek

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Simpsons Did It!: “The Fight Before Christmas”

In which we do a Christmas anthology and...holy hell, what was that?!?

Oh cripes.  Another anthology episode…

So, apparently, it’s Christmas.  Marge is trying to decorate the house for a nice, Christmas look, but isn’t getting any help due to a lack of a holiday spirit.  Homer doesn’t want to do anything.  Lisa is protesting bringing a tree in to die.  Bart may be in the spirit, but he’s staying up to get Santa with his BB gun unless he finally gets that dirt bike he wants.  Disgruntled, the Simpsons go to bed.

And most of them dream.  Bart gets onboard some kind of Polar Express that Otto conducts that seems to run on narcotics.  He’s off to complain to Santa in person, and Santa looks like Krusty.  Not a bad bit, all told.

Then we get to Lisa, who dreams it’s 1944 and one of her parents is off fighting in World War II.  Surprisingly, it’s Marge.  Homer was too fat for a fox hole.  Lisa learns a lesson though in this dream she loves ham, and then Marge goes all Inglorious Basterds on a bunch of Nazis, including Hitler, enjoying a Nazi version of Dumbo.  Because when I think of Christmas, I think of Hitler.

Next we have Marge, who dreams that guest star Martha Stewart comes by to give Marge the perfect Christmas using her super-homemaking skills.  Of course that’s who Marge’s hero is.  Then Marge realizes the “perfect” Christmas means her family can be themselves, so she gets it all back since Martha obviously has a (homemade) magic wand.  And then Marge gets breakfast (ingredients) in bed.

And then we have last one as Maggie…holy hannah!

What the hell is that?!

Yes, Maggie is dreaming her family are basically puppets of the Muppets/Sesame Street variety, where Mr. Burns can demand the full 39 days of Christmas be sung and Moe is dating flesh-and-blood guest star Katy Perry.  Plus, Jasper and Grampa make wisecracks from a theater box.

I think I am very frightened right now.