Simpsons Did It!: “Chief Of Hearts”

There are some subplots on The Simpsons that aren’t really worth mentioning, so in this episode, Bart is briefly hooked on a Japanese card game that makes Digimon look like Pokemon.  Or maybe it made Pokemon look like Digimon.  Both are lame, so I don’t care.  Bart’s interest dies the minute Marge finds out he isn’t doing drugs and thinks the cards are neat.  Then Bart can’t flush them fast enough.

Instead, let’s look at Homer and Chief Wiggum.

Homer has business at the local bank, but he’s eating a candy apple.  The bank has a strict “no food” policy, so rather than either finish the apple before going inside or tossing it away, Homer stuffs it into the pocket of his jacket after taking a big bite.  Unfortunately, that makes the apple look like a gun, and his mouth is stuffed with candy so he can’t talk right.  Everyone inside assumes he’s robbing the place and that gets Homer tasered but good.

His life seems to get worse when Jane Kaczmarek’s Judge Harm sentences him to 100 hours of community service for causing problems at the bank.  That’s pure torture for Homer, since he’ll serve any sentence except for the community.  Jail at least lets him lounge around and get some teardrop tattoos.

But it isn’t so bad.  Marge’s ability to parm any sandwich makes Homer very popular with one person:  Chief Wiggum.  So, while the rest of the community service detail made up of Kearney, Krusty, Mr. Teeny, Kent Brockman, and Herman have to actually clean stuff up, Wiggum lets Homer lounge around and hang out.  See, Wiggum doesn’t really have any friends.  Even his wife Sarah seems inclined to do stuff without him.  He can’t make friends with civilians since being a cop intimidates them and he can’t make friends with other cops because the job is so intense.  But now Wiggum has a friend in Homer.  The two go everywhere together, even Wiggum’s special spot on a cliff overlooking a forest.

Problems erupt when Homer tags along to an armed robbery being committed by the Springfield Mafia, and Wiggum takes a bullet for Homer.  After spending a few days with a comatose Wiggum, Homer is relieved to see his new friend wake up.  He is less relieved when Wiggum turns out to be pretty needy.  Homer finally ditches Clancy by going to Moe’s, but Wiggum finds him there easily.  Then Wiggum disappears.  Concerned, Eddie and Lou ask Homer for help.  Homer checks the special spot, and sure enough, Wiggum’s there, and Homer has a bucket of apology chicken.

But the mob doesn’t quit, and Homer isn’t always around to shame Joe Mantegna’s Fat Tony.  They’re selling counterfeit Lacoste shirts because why not?  Wiggum might have had the drop on them if he’d used his service revolver and not a drumstick.  Fat Tony has the two tied up and tossed into the trunk of his car.  Can Wiggum get Homer out?  Homer believes in him.  No, Homer KNOWS he can.

Wiggum then proves adept at changing the car’s CD player in the trunk with his tongue, causing an embarrassing song to play in the car.  When the mobsters go to investigate, Wiggum gets a gun and Homer brandishes the tire iron Wiggum didn’t realize was digging into his back.  The other cops arrive, and Homer and Clancy can be friends again if Clancy won’t go all intense.  Sounds like a plan.

First up, using the police helicopter to make Ned Flanders think the rapture had come.

Oh Homer…