June 19, 2024

Gabbing Geek

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Simpsons Did It!: “Wedding For Disaster”

In which Homer and Marge get married...again.

So, while it’s always good to see Kelsey Grammer return as Sideshow Bob, he wasn’t doing anything evil this time.  In fact, he was being a bit helpful.

How odd.

Reverend Lovejoy has big news:  the Parson is coming!


The Bing Crosby-like head of whatever church the Christian people of Springfield belong to.  I know what they call it.  I am just not typing that word out.  That Parson.  He was also Lovejoy’s Divinity School roommate.  Why would the Parson, a man whose very presence makes Ned Flanders’ mustache tingle, want to come to Springfield?

Well, see, funny story:  Lovejoy kinda screwed up his ministerial recertification, so for three months, he wasn’t really a minister and none of his ministerial type duties count.  However, rather than have a whole episode where he scrambles around and does holy things, instead we go and find out that the marriage he officiated for Marge and Homer once upon a time isn’t valid.

No, not when Homer married Marge to prevent Bart from being born a bastard, though calling Bart a bastard when angry at him is still acceptable.  No, the second time the two tied the knot when Homer got a quick divorce so he could get Marge a real wedding after the VanHoutens broke up during a disastrous Simpson dinner party.

To be fair, every Simpson dinner party is something of a disaster.

As it is, Homer gets the bright idea as the two wait in line at City Hall to give Marge the giant dream wedding she never had.  So, this being wedding #3, Marge finally gets to plan one.  She’s, well, a bit of a bridezilla.  But when the day of the wedding comes, well, Homer disappears.

That doesn’t seem right.  Bart and Lisa know Homer would never do that on purpose.  And they find a clue:  a set of keys on a keychain with the initials “S.B.”

It must be Sideshow Bob!

Wait, no it isn’t.  He has an alibi.  He was up all night with Krusty carving clay sculptures of the clown with a machete.  As he is quick to point out, there are lots of possible S.B.s.  Like Scott Baio or the Sultan of Brunei or one Sluzba Bezpieczenstwa.  (I am not typing that again.)

Or, you know, someone Bob knows pretty well:  Selma Bouvier.

Yes, Patty and Selma have kidnapped Homer and chained him in a basement in some sort of Saw-like scenario.  They’re going to keep him there until Marge finally dumps the poor guy, and they’re giving him fake keys inside hot sauce lollypops in the meantime.  But before the fire ants get involved, and after Homer figures out there’s plenty of sarcasm involved, he reads his wedding vows and they’re so beautiful the twins let Homer go.  Bart and Lisa find him back at home, completely forgiven.  To be fair, he does still have a manacle around his ankle.  That’s a pretty good alibi.  So, Patty and Selma think they got away with it.

You know, until Bart and Lisa storm in with demands.  Lisa has the demands.  She’s the smart one.  Bart’s just back-up.

As such, when Homer and Marge have their fourth wedding at city hall, they get a big reception outside the front door as paid for by Patty and Selma.  Homer gets a rocket ship wedding cake, and Marge gets her genetically engineered blue roses.

Be careful with those flowers.  They bite.