There’s a moment in this episode, a creepy moment, where we see the Family Olympics at the Springfield Retirement Castle is having a father-son wheelbarrow race, and we see that there is, in fact, two identical Hans Molemans. Molemen? Moles. There are two of them! A father and a son! And no one can ever tell them apart!
The Simpsons are at the Springfield Home and Garden Expo. Marge, it seems, lied to all the others about where they were going since it was the sort of thing only she would find interesting. And then, they find it…hot tubs. As described by Lenny and Carl, it’s like getting a back rub from an orgasm. Homer asks Marge to get one. So do Bart and Lisa. Maggie points to a brochure. Marge asks herself and then wonders who she’s asking.
So, yeah, the Simpsons buy a hot tub, and after scaring away the swingers (the Hibberts, Mrs. Krabappel, Disco Stu), they can relax…and relax…and relax…heck, it’s so relaxing, Homer invites Ned Flanders into the tub. It works on Flanders too. It’s so relaxing, the whole family forgot to do something left on a note on the fridge marked “urgent”.
That would be the aforementioned Family Olympics with Grampa. Now he’s mad and disappointed, so to make it up to him, the family opts to do something on the old man’s bucket list before it’s too late. What does Grampa want to do that is still possible to do? Well, he could go for a beer at O’Flanagan’s Pub! Homer agrees! Then learns that pub is in Ireland. D’oh.
So, the Simpsons go to Ireland. And, gosh golly gee whiz, O’Flanagan’s is still there, but the place is dead. Ireland is part of a tech boom and even the leprechauns are yuppies now. Old Man O’Flanagan (guest star Colm Meaney) is desperate, but he’s certainly willing to serve beers to a one-time customer and said customer’s son.
That basically means Marge takes the kids sight-seeing as the show is wont to do, where Lisa discovers Guinness is 50% bog water and 50% chocolate syrup, and Bart paints his butt to look like the Blarney Stone until an Irish Nelson carves his initials into said butt. There’s also some joke involving actor/musicians Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova reprising some roles from a movie I’ve never seen, but at least they agreed to do the show unlike Kathy Ireland. The writers wish her well at least.
But while that is going on, Homer and Grampa end up buying the bar while drunk, and they seem to understand Irish real estate law pretty well while drunk. O’Flanagan gets the last laugh, and it’s a good thing buying a pub while drunk and annoying Homer are also on Grampa’s bucket list.
But if O’Flanagan can’t get any business, then Grampa and Homer sure can’t. They send for the one guy they know who can make money in a bar with no customers, and Moe basically says find out what the people want to do but aren’t legally allowed and then do that. That would be smoke in a pub. Setting up a “smokeeasy” sure does bring in the customers, but then the cops show up, and fortunately since Homer is once again representing himself in court, the punishment is simply deportation.
As the judge explains, Ireland got a lot better when their dumber citizens moved away to America. Many became police officers.
Cue Chief Clancy Wiggum…