Would Dipper give up Wendy for Mabel? I mean, yes, Mabel is his sister and Wendy is his slightly older crush and…oh man, that came out wrong.
We may need to find a pig.
Grunkle Stan is hosting his annual Mystery Fair from the Mystery Shack, which of course means sparing every expense and rigging the dunk tank so he can’t be dunked. That sounds just like him. The fake safety notices do as well.
As fate would have it, Dipper got somewhere with Wendy when he asked if she wanted to go to the fair. She said yes. It’s…well, not really a date. He’s still a bit younger than her, and besides, her maybe boyfriend Robbie is hanging around and…holy crap, Robbie is voiced by TJ Miller! I had no idea.
Mabel, meanwhile, has found her own love. She successfully guessed the weight of a pig that she thinks said her name. It mostly gave a piggy grunt, so who knows what it said. When the barker for that game referred to the pig as “old fifteen pounder,” well, Mabel somehow knew the pig was 15 pounds. And she is not a witch. She will also decline the complimentary knife and fork and name the pig “Waddles.”
Dipper, on the other hand, has his own problems. Sure, Wendy wants a duck/panda stuffed thing from a game that requires a person to knock over all the bottles with a ball, and Dipper has a system where you knock the carnie out with a good pitch and steal one, but it goes wrong because Dipper can’t throw very well and his manages to bounce the ball off the game and nail Wendy in the eye. As he goes for ice, Robbie pops up and wins Wendy’s heart over with a convenient water ice.
So, that’s it. Mabel got a pig and Dipper got squat. But then they run into one Blendin Blandin. He’s, well, a time traveler sent from the future to prevent some sort of temporal weirdness, and he hasn’t found anything yet. The twins convince him to try a ride on them since he’s so stressed and then steal his time machine that looks an awful lot like a tape measure. Dipper wants to fix the accident and win over Wendy. Mabel wants to keep winning Waddles.
And, well, as much as they try, not much changes. Dipper adjusts all kinds of things and continues to nail Wendy in the eye as Robbie passes by. Mabel keeps winning the pig. And at least once she had a mob with torches and pitchforks looking to burn the witch.
And through it all, Stan hurls insults at the crowd that can’t dunk him.
But then Dipper realizes he can get it right if Mabel takes a minute to help him with his toss and not go for Waddles right away. That works. He wins over Wendy, but Pacifica wins Waddles. Mabel is heartbroken, and the weird time travel that takes the twins to pioneer days in time to teach settlers the high five or the trip to the future where a giant baby is attacking or even just running through past episodes doesn’t change Dipper’s mind. I mean, Mabel’s been devastated over the lose of a ball of yarn. What’s a pig?
Some time travel shows the pig is that important. So, Dipper fixes things for Mabel. And then Blendin comes back for his time machine. And then two future time cops named Lolph and Dungren show up to grab him. He’s in a lot of trouble. There are calculators and high fives in the past that shouldn’t be there. And as they take him away, Stan taunts the two guys from the future and their ray guns sure can knock him into the dunk tank. The water from such also shrinks Robbie’s too-tight-to-begin-with pants.
So, while Dipper didn’t get the girl, everyone got a laugh at Robbie’s problems, including underwater Stan.
As for Blendin, well, he has to personally collect all the stuff the twins lost.
But the important thing is Mabel got a pig.