Yeah, I’m not sure a few more characters are going to make it to another season of this show.
We’re in a strange spot. Ragnar’s sons (except for Bjorn) are all basically orphans right now, and they need to decide which parent they are going to avenge first. Ivar wants to take down Lagertha first. Sigurd doesn’t care about Lagertha because Aslaug was cold to him. Hvitserk, when he finally weighs in, remembers Aslaug’s parenting almost had him drowned in the ice. Ubbe wants revenge, but he can wait. Besides, Ubbe takes it upon himself to free Too Pretty the Sequel from slavery without the say-so of anyone but himself.
But for Ragnar, that’s easy. They need an army. And since Ragnar was the biggest hero in all of the Northmen’s lands, lots of guys show up to volunteer. That eventually includes Finehair and Halfdan, who are already plotting against, oh, everybody else.
But I get ahead of myself. And not just because there’s some stuff going on in England that’s of questionable importance such that I will skip it. No, after dropping Rollo off, Bjorn and his expedition return early. Omens of parental death do that sort of thing.
But consider Rollo for a moment. Bjorn basically tells him he’ll never be welcome in the lands of his birth on pain of death. That Asshole Floki uses his That Asshole Reasoning to tell Rollo he isn’t Viking anymore, and later tells Bjorn that Rollo should have been killed because Rollo’s fame will eventually outshine everyone else’s. Hvitserk still considers him a traitor. Heck, even Gisla beats the holy hell out of him. He may have deserved a lot of that.
Helga wishes him well. He returns the favor. He also says the farmland of his land is welcome for any Northman looking to farm. Since that land became known as “Normandy” after the Northmen, I think That Asshole Floki was right about that fame thing.
But while Lagertha is still building walls to defend her new seat of power, other things are happening, and not just because Lagertha politely declines Ubbe’s request that she join the Great Army. Hey, she lost enough kingdoms whenever she left on an expedition. She finally learned that lesson. No, Ivar challenges her again, with Ubbe as back-up, and the only thing stopping them from going at it is Bjorn coming in to say that any attempt to kill Lagertha has to go through him first.
I’m a bit intrigued by Bjorn’s stance here. He says he understands his half-brothers’ desire for revenge, but revenge has to come for Ragnar first. Does that mean he won’t interfere if Ivar tries again after the vikings trash England?
Whatever, he has a fight with Torvi then starts making out with his mom’s girlfriend Astrid. That was…unexpected.
As for Ivar, he goes to see That Asshole Floki. Those two guys get along really well, to the surprise of no one. And That Asshole Floki has a way for Ivar to fight in an upright position. Yes, That Asshole Floki invented a war chariot for Ivar.
Besides, with Helga adopting a girl who doesn’t even speak the same language as any of the others, I finally think That Asshole Floki might be the sane member of that family.