April 17, 2024

Gabbing Geek

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Simpsons Did It!: “She Used To Be My Girl”

In which Marge clashes with a former classmate, now a high-powered journalist.

Marge takes some heat here when a successful former friend and classmate returns to Springfield and Lisa takes a shine to this potential role-model.  Homer tries to impress her a bit, too.  Marge should buck up a bit:  Bart didn’t care at all.

What brings Marge’s former classmate Chloe Talbot (guest star Kim Cattrall) to Springfield?  A media circus.  That excites Homer since he doesn’t know the difference between that and a regular circus.

It seems Mayor Quimby was hit with 27 different paternity suits at the same time, and that brings in the media from all over the country, including a particularly smug truck from Fox News.  And while Kent Brockman is easily distracted by a puppy, Chloe Talbot sure isn’t.  She even got a tape of Quimby in bed with what looks like a barely literate (or might-as-well-be illiterate) mistress who calls him by the title “Major”.

What had happened?  Well, Marge and Chloe were on the high school newspaper when they did an expose on a cafeteria worker spitting in the food. Of course it was Moe.  The girls could have stayed in journalism or stayed with their boyfriends.  Marge had Homer.  Chloe had Barney, who loved her and drinking brake fluid.  She ran away from Springfield the day Barney proposed.  If he weren’t already a drunk, that would probably explain a lot.

Marge does invite Chloe to dinner.  Lisa is enamored.  Homer has to show off the ankle bracelet he wears while on house arrest.  To be fair, it is a conversation starter.  Chloe also takes Lisa to a dinner for media elites like herself.  Maybe if Chloe weren’t namedropping everyone she knows, Marge wouldn’t mind so much.  However, Chloe does invite Lisa to come with her to a UN Conference on women in Capital City.  Marge says no, but Lisa sneaks off anyway and hides in Chloe’s trunk.

Marge and Homer try following to Capital City, so that ankle bracelet doesn’t work as well as it should.  Too bad Chloe got diverted to Mount Springfield erupting as all long dormant volcanos do when dramatically convenient.  With Chloe and Lisa trapped there, it’s up to Homer to first figure out whether he goes or stays with Marge will make the women not boo him, and then to Marge to dance across the lava to rescue Lisa as she’s trapped on the roof of Chloe’s car.

That’s badass for Marge.

Chloe, meanwhile, is saved by Barney.  Remember, he’s now a (usually) sober helicopter pilot.  Though Barney knows he can stay sober with Chloe by his side, he’ll gladly settle for a half hour of pity sex.  There isn’t any other kind for him.

Cue knock-off Sex and the City theme music.

But one could wonder, would Marge have made it if she’d stuck to journalism?  As it turns out, Marge believes if she had, the “Miracle on Ice” would have never happened.

That’s not worth thinking about to any proud American.