January 21, 2022

Gabbing Geek

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Simpsons Did It!: “The Dad Who Knew Too Little”

In which Homer goes to extreme lengths to learn about Lisa.

It’s been a while, so let’s have another episode about how Homer and Lisa bond after it becomes clear Homer knows very little about his middle child.  We gotta get one of those every couple of seasons.

Our story opens with a look at the home of that youthful celebrity Krusty the Clown.  It goes poorly when Krusty’s neighbor Elliott Gould comes over to complain Mr. Teeny bit Gould’s kid again, and that leads to Krusty getting a beating.  I’d skip this part except I always mention the celebrity guest star, and Elliott Gould was right there.

However, after that incident of unpleasantness on so many levels, we cut to Lisa seeing something called the Turbo Diary, a special diary that can only be read by the user.  Sneaks get a bad electric shock.  That actually sounds dangerous, but Lisa’s birthday is coming up and…

Hold on.  Isn’t this, like, the third time on the show Lisa has had a birthday?  These people don’t age and…you know what, I’m going to keep going.

Bad news for Homer:  the toy store just sold the last Turbo Diary to Mr. Burns.  He needs somewhere secure to keep his enemies list.  What’s Homer gonna do?  Well, he gets what he calls a genius idea from stupid Flanders and puts together a cheesy video with Lisa’s face on top of a cartoon cowgirl.  And it turns out Homer got every detail about Lisa’s life wrong.  She hates him now.

I think I’ve seen this before.  Lisa sure is easy to anger and incredibly judgmental.  She is certainly Homer’s daughter.

What’s Homer gonna do?  Well, an idea from Flanders got him into this mess, so maybe an idea from Moe will fix it.

This is maybe two steps ahead of Homer having his own ideas.

Anyway, Moe has a private detective he can recommend.  Dexter Colt will find out everything Homer needs to know for fifty dollars a day plus expenses.  Colt can find things out by intimidating Principal Skinner, blackmailing Nelson, grilling Ralph Wiggum, and spooking Groundskeeper Willy off by remarking the Scotsman looks like the Aberdeen Strangler.

With the report, Homer learns enough to get Lisa to like him again.  And that seems to work for a lot of reasons, not the least of which being Homer knows Lisa well enough to take her to an animal rights protest to protest monkeys being trained to smoke and pigs being forced to wear make-up.  Colt’s methods work.  He also charged Homer $1000 because his expenses were very, very high.  Did he need a $40 steak?  Probably not.  Homer refuses to pay, so Colt frames Lisa for someone breaking into the aforementioned research lab and swiping the animals.  And since Chief Wiggum is still the top cop in Springfield, he obviously thinks Lisa did it.

Homer and Lisa go on the run because Wiggum’s plan to flush Lisa out was to have Ralph ask her to come out and play with her hands up.  As Homer and Lisa manage to disguise themselves and go on the lam, Homer eventually owns up to Colt, and Lisa is furious again.  But as they run, they find the missing animals at a local circus and that’s where Colt finds him.  After Homer takes a Human Cannonball to the stomach, Lisa may start to appreciate him.  Of course, Homer’s taken that to the gut before.  Homer also reveals a memory of Lisa finding him crying in a closet when she was three, so Lisa can use a laser pointer she got as another birthday gift to rescue her dad from Colt.  Lisa is exonerated, Homer never had to pay Colt, and the animals are given to Cletus.  Everything is as it should be.

Wait, what was that about Willy looking like the Aberdeen Strangler?

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