Simpsons Did It!: “Bart Vs. Lisa Vs. The Third Grade”

Hey, wow, there are teachers at Springfield Elementary besides Krabappel, Miss Hoover, and the occasionally seen music or gym teachers.

Homer finds regular TV boring.  That means there’s only one thing to do:  buy a satellite dish.  Good thing he won at the racetrack for a change!

The new infinite channels thing proves irresistible to Bart and Homer, and they spend a lot of time watching such things as Japanese Friends and Tom Brokaw throwing up during commercial breaks.  Lisa is interested in doing well on some upcoming achievement tests because its Lisa and of course she is.  Bart opts to blow that off.  He also opts to throw sleep off.  TV is too important.

That means when the test actually comes around, Bart is so drowsy and tired that he imagines the rest of the people in the classroom as characters from the TV.  Was that Bender?  Yes, that was Bender.  And that clown sure was helpful to inform Bart that he’s finally lost his mind.

As the results come in, Lisa finds herself promoted to the third grade.  And Bart, well, he finds himself demoted to the third grade.  These things happen.

So, this is bad for Bart, right?  Well, no.  It turns out Bart’s great at the third grade,  He oughta be.  He did it all before.  Lisa, meanwhile, is struggling with things like an A-.  Complaining, whining, and crying actually gets Bart an higher grade than before.  Bart didn’t really try on that test.  The answer key was still the same.

Frustrated with each other, Bart and Lisa are even more enraged when Marge gets the two matching fanny packs and the teacher makes the two of them pair up in the Buddy System.  How dare they try to pick their own Buddies!

But, then it’s off to Capital City.  The Capital City Goofball has been elected to the statehouse, and he wants them to come up with a new state flag.  Having the Confederate Flag is one thing.  Having it as part of the flag for a Northern state is something else.  The kids are all assigned to work with their Buddies to design a new flag.  Lisa, working on her own, comes up with something called “To Fraternal Love”.  Bart overhears Lisa tell Marge what a dope he is, so he fixes it while Lisa is asleep.

Hey, look, it’s Mary Bailey!  She’s still the governor!  And let’s see how much she likes Bart’s flag redesign…oh, she doesn’t.  Now it says, “Learn To Fart”.  That’ll do it.

An outraged Lisa knocks Bart and herself into some bushes.  And the Buddy System fails them since the bus leaves without them.  That is one disillusioned teacher!  Skinner will spare no expense to find Lisa.  Bart, meanwhile, has a class clown temp in the form of Milhouse.

As it is, the kids make up and meet some hillbillies descended from a kid who got lost on a field trip, so they get taken back to Capital City and everyone is happy.  Skinner decides the status quo works best and sends Bart back to the fourth grade, Lisa opts to go back to the second, and Milhouse has to stop clowning.  Basically, it was a good day for anyone who wasn’t Milhouse.

Oh, that teacher’s name was Ms. McConnell.

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