OK, why the hell is there an Asian woman on the show now? I mean, yes, I saw Aslaug buy her from a slave merchant, but still, that woman is a long way from home.
Our story opens with That Asshole Floki in agony in the Asshole Cave underneath Stately Asshole Manor. Lagertha is gettin’ it on with Kalf, who loves her but clearly doesn’t seem to notice she probably isn’t reciprocating anything and that the best way to a woman’s heart is not to agree with another man to send a berserker to kill that woman’s son.
That berserker seems kinda badass too, like one of the dwarfs from The Hobbit movies only taller and less articulate. Bjorn is becoming a badass himself what with how he kills a bear with a hand ax and knife and then goes skinny-dipping in the frozen lake.
And over in Paris, Rollo is trying to learn French so his angry wife Princess Gisla will maybe stop hating him.
There’s some stuff in Wessex too. Who the hell cares? Wessex seems pointless due to a distinct lack of vikings.
But Ragnar is thinking, and when he isn’t verbally punishing Aslaug for cheating on him, he’s trying to make sure That Asshole Floki knows his poor daughter died. And by episode’s end, he releases That Asshole Floki from his ropes. What caused that?
Well, Athelstan did. You know, the dead guy. Athelstan appears simultaneously in a vision to both Ragnar and Ecbert. Ragnar is counseled to show mercy or receive it or something. All Athelstan says is “mercy” three times, so draw your own conclusions. Ecbert gets a silent blessing and somehow knows Athelstan is dead. That’s about the only thing worth mentioning in Wessex anyway, and at least a third of the episode was set there.
Wessex just sucks from a storytelling perspective. It needs more vikings.