Simpsons Did It!: “Simpson Safari”

Well, looks like it’s time for the Simpsons to travel to another foreign land and meet the cartoon stereotypes that live there while being the worst Americans possible.

Yes, the Simpsons are going to Africa!

Which country?  Er, hard to say.  The one they land in changes names three times before they land.  And the geography they see suggests, well, sights that are probably hundreds of miles apart.  So, let’s just stick to Africa for now and be done with it.  Besides, John Swartzwelder wrote the script, and if he didn’t care, neither should we.

How did the family get to Africa?  Well, it started at the supermarket where Homer abuses a bag boy a bit too much.  He’s joined by other especially charming Springfield personalities as Agnes Skinner and Moe.  That leads to a bag boy strike, and since bagging groceries at all will get a person labeled a scab, the food supply in Springfield soon dries up.

Yeah, that doesn’t make sense to me either.

About the only food left in the house is an ancient box of animal crackers that was sitting in Homer’s grade school lunch box, and inside of that was a golden giraffe that allowed the holder to win a trip to Africa with his family.  Homer is delighted, and wants to do everything the back of the box shows, like shoot a lion in the face, fight Muhammed Ali, and drive around in a convertible with two happy zebras.  Though, really, the company responsible points out they don’t even make food products anymore.  The only thing that sends Homer to another continent is the fact that the string on the box breaks and the sharp corner of the box hits him in the eye.

So, yeah, Africa.

Whatever country they go to in Africa.

They get a guide there, and he shows them around, but while the family is partying with a tribe of natives, Homer gets too enthusiastic smacking some drums and smacks a hippo on the butt.  That sends the enraged hippo running around, and after smacking their guide a bit hard, the Simpsons jump in a canoe and drift down what is clearly the wrong fork in the river.

As for the hippo, it didn’t like water, just as Homer predicted.  Sure, Lisa said that wasn’t true, but they also saw a baby rhino hatch from an egg and a giraffe living underground.  The whole continent was screwy.

But the boat ride ends when the family goes over Victoria Falls.  They manage to land in a giant flower, and the flower tries to eat them.  Homer pushes his way out, which impresses Bart.  But really, it was a flower.

As luck would have it, the family eventually manages to find the camp for a renowned chimp research, Dr. Joan Bushwell.  Dr. Bushwell invites them in, and though Homer is quick to embarrass Marge by talking of the feces smell, the family soon comes to Bushwell’s aide when some poachers show up looking to claim the chimps.  After some cartoon shenanigans that cause things to explode for no reason, one poacher gets in and grabs a chimp.  After a tussle with Lisa, the poacher’s shirt opens to reveal a t-shirt reading “Greenpeace”.

Um, yeah, they weren’t poachers.

And, um, yeah, Dr. Bushwell was using the chimps as forced labor in a diamond mine.

Man, that’s messed up.  The crazed woman, who could take a lesson in crazed from Lt. Smash, offers diamonds if the Simpsons can keep her secret.  She has a lot of diamonds, but she’s clearly crazy and cruel to the chimps.  What should the Simpsons do?

Well, everyone but Lisa leaves Africa with a bunch of diamonds.  What else was going to happen?

Say, did she bribe Greenpeace too?

Well, maybe when the family gets back home, the bag boy strike will be over and they can get food again.

That still doesn’t make any sense.