February 29, 2024

Gabbing Geek

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Simpsons Did It!: “New Kids On The Blecch”

In which yvan eht nioj.

Remember when Justin Timberlake and those other four guys were known as ‘N Sync?

Inspired by TV coverage of the oldest man to ever win the marathon in the Olympics being close to his age, Homer decides to run the Springfield Marathon.  That pretty much is all it takes, but then we cut to the race and some random jokes and someone wins the thing.

That someone is Bart in a fake mustache who joined the race late, pretending to be Italian.

That sort of thing has happened before in the real world

But then a bird steals the ‘stache, and Bart sees he has two options:  get in a car with a stranger offering him safety, or let the angry mob have a fun run on his trachea.  He opts for the stranger, a man named L.T. Smash, and Smash is looking for Bart to be the rebel in his new boy band, the Party Posse.

Who is the Party Posse?  Eh, just a few kids from Springfield Elementary.  Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, and Ralph Wiggum.  And soon, they’re decked out in the finest version of late 90s cartoon hip looks.

Um, word?
Um, word?

And it doesn’t matter that these guys can’t sing.  A voice machine developed by NASA fixes all that.  And after a debut concert at Springfield Elementary and a supportive visit from ‘N Sync, the Posse takes off with a music video directed by Ang Lee.  Wait?  Ang Lee?  Huh.

But that weird, catchy refrain?

Yvan eht nioj.

Yvan eht nioj.

Yvan eht nioj.

Lisa is bugged, but the only family support she gets is Marge being sure the bikini-clad women in the video haven’t had three kids.

Oh, and then Lisa figures out those words mean “Join the Navy” backwards.  And wow, L.T. Smash is actually Lt. Smash of the U.S. Navy, and the whole thing is a part of a recruitment campaign to use subliminals on unsuspecting music fans.  That goes with the usual liminal and superliminal methods.  Lisa knows too much, so Smash couldn’t let her leave except she’d already left by then.

And though Lisa shares her discoveries, Marge and Homer don’t believe her since they figure it’s just jealousy.   And then the Party Posse has a concert on an aircraft carrier.  Everything is going well and Smash is having that hippie fantasy again when an admiral shows up to shut the whole thing down since Mad Magazine is about to make fun of the Posse.  Smash won’t take that and steals the ship to take out Mad‘s corporate offices.  Most of the concertgoers, including Lisa and Marge, manage to get to shore.  Homer is still there since he was using the head.  Can anyone stop Smash?

Well, ‘N Sync comes up with a song that could stop a raving lunatic like Smash.  Homer can confirm that look in the guy’s eyes.  But ‘N Sync and the Party Posse can’t agree to choreography and the missiles launch, blowing up the building.  No one seems to be hurt either.

But as ‘N Sync reminds us, we should remember the Navy protects us from true dangers that aren’t very funny.

You know, like Godzilla, pirates, and jellyfish.