May 27, 2024

Gabbing Geek

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Simpsons Did It!: “Treehouse Of Horror VIII”

In which tales of terror are bad enough to get the Fox censor killed.

This episode features the foulest, worst, most awful thing The Simpsons ever dreamed up.

I refer, of course, to the caramel cod.

Yes, it’s another Halloween episode, and that caramel cod appears in the last part, set in colonial times, where the Salem Witch Trials are going on, and Marge gets accused for the reason of trying to get everyone to be reasonable.  It turns out Marge really is the witch responsible for all things that have gone wrong in town that are not related to gophers.  Then she turns Chief Wiggum into a giant gopher.  Flying back to the cave where her witch sisters Patty and Selma are mixing a cauldron, the three get the idea to go out and eat children by eavesdropping on the fretful Ned and Maude Flanders.  The only thing that stopped them wasn’t Ned welding a large cross, but rather Maude offering gingerbread men instead.  Thus, trick or treating was born.

And of course Mrs. Krabappel was wearing a scarlet letter.

The middle segment was called “Fly vs Fly” and mocked some stuff with The Fly.  Both versions probably.  I actually have never seen either.  But Homer buys a matter transporter cheap from Professor Frink’s yard sale, and then Bart finds out what happens when two different living things go in and get their DNA mixed up when the dog chases the cat into the machine.  The one with two butts can be Lisa’s pet.  Thinking it would be stupid not to cross himself with a fly, it does turn out to be stupid when Bart and the fly just swap heads.  Does anyone learn anything?  Probably not since Bart does get changed back to normal but then has to flee an axe welding Homer.

And then there was the first segment, named “The Homega Man”.  Ever see The Omega Man?  It was a 70s take on the book I Am Legend starring Charlton Heston.  And it’s just weird.  Something has turned most of the human race into weird albino zombie things, and they wear a lot of robes and chant stuff to get the last man on Earth, Heston.  Well, after Mayor Quimby insults the French, they retaliate with a missile aimed at Springfield, barely missing Kang and Kodos, but nailing the Comic Book Guy at ground zero.  Homer was eating the rations in a bomb shelter at Herman’s place and survived easily.  And since the shelter could only withstand a six megaton blast, no more or less, I know how strong the bomb was.

It’s Homer, of course, so he doesn’t notice all the dead bodies right away.  Sure, Herman’s a skeleton, and even after Homer turns Kirk VanHouten’s skull to powder, he still takes a second to see something is really wrong.  Then he realizes what he’s lost.  Little Bart.  Little Lisa.  Little Marge.  And the rest (Maggie, the dog, the cat, and the TV).  Well, nothing to it but to do whatever he wants, which is apparently be a total ass at a Chris Farley/David Spade movie and to dance naked in the church.  Then he finds out many of the men of Springfield have been mutated into skin-eating monsters, so he makes a run for it, runs over Johnny and Edgar Winters, and then gets home to find the rest of the family alive and well thanks to many layers of lead paint.  And then they as a family gun down the mutants.

There’s probably a lesson there, but damned if I can see it.