April 19, 2024

Gabbing Geek

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Vikings “Brother’s War”

Season Two, Episode One.

So, season one ended with both the Lothbrok brothers being bastards to loved ones.  Rollo betrayed his brother, and Ragnar betrayed his wife.

The chickens comes home to roost here.

War!  Huh!  Good God, y’all!  What is it good for?  Absolutely nothin’!

Jarl Borg and King Horik never ironed out their differences, so they go to war with, like, a total of maybe 50 guys.  Hey, this isn’t Game of Thrones, folks.

And it goes rather bloodily.  Rollo is jumping over the line, killing guys.  He seriously wounds Floki, who thought to bring a knife to a two-man axe fight, and then Rollo makes a shish-kabob out of One-Eyed Jack.  Or whatever his name was.  There are too many large, hairy, shirtless men on this show.  What does Jenny even see in it?

Pictured center: what Jenny sees in this show.
Pictured center: what Jenny sees in this show.

But man, Rollo won’t fight Ragnar, and apparently that means the whole battle ends for some reason.  And while Borg and Horik can’t seem to agree to the land’s worth, Ragnar settles things by telling the guys they can get more plunder by attacking the west instead of attacking each other.  That works. Ragnar brings Rollo home, and the lawn bringer says Rollo survived thus far so the gods must have wanted it, and he has to go free.  Looks like Ragnar bribed the guy.  Um, why?  Rollo is treacherous…or he would be if he were more competent about it.

But on Rollo’s side, he still has Siggy.  I’m trying to decide which of those two has the better hair.

So, things are looking up for Ragnar.  Well, Bjorn told Lagertha about Aslaug.  Um, oops.  Ragnar confesses he slept with her once.  She seems to forgive him.  Seriously, he got lucky considering what he did to her when he wouldn’t take her raiding.  Or what she did to Knut.  How is Ragnar still alive and whole?  Well, he said he’d never see Aslaug again.  He’d probably mean it too, if Aslaug didn’t show up on their doorstep super-pregnant.

Then comes a series of awkward dinners and something that sounds like polygamy coming out of Ragnar’s mouth.  He won’t abandon someone he knocked up.  So, Lagertha decides she’ll just divorce him and head out.  Bjorn ultimately decides to go with her.  And Ragnar may be as popular around town as Rollo with some people.  We’ll just have to wait and see.