Rome “Utica”

Man, I really do believe Titus Pullo is the luckiest son of a bitch in Rome, and spending time with him allows that luck to rub off.

We also learn in this episode that his parents were (probably) slaves, that the slave woman he rescued has a named (Eirene), that’s he’s obviously in love with her (her feelings back are a bit harder to guess), and since she now knows Latin, they can speak to each other.

But you know what you do when you win a big victory over a political rival?  You put together a new government.  That’s what Caesar is doing, choosing that newly-returned weasel Octavian for one post, and Vorenus (who disagrees with Caesar anyway) for another.

See, the last of Caesar’s old adversaries from the Senate are both basically lost and both commit suicide.  The play version back in Rome makes it into a comedic farce, something many in the crowd enjoy except for Brutus who knew those guys.  Brutus goes to Atia’s place for dinner with his mother Servilia, and Servilia is still pissed as both Caesar and Atia and she wants to bring them down.

And unsurprisingly, the tender moments Servilia has been spending with Octavia weren’t done out of love or affection but out of revenge.  Noticing Octavian looking at his sister a certain way, Servilia suggests that Octavia get some dirt on Caesar from her brother, especially given Octavia has already told Servilia about Caesar’s mystery ailment.  About all Octavian will cop to is killing off Niobe’s baby daddy with Pullo, and Servilia can’t use that, and then outright tells Octavia that Atia had Octavia’s husband killed.

Now determined to do something, Octavia successfully seduces her brother, like this is Game of Thrones or something, and gets…nothing else but a whipping from Atia since Mama Oct had spies all over her house.  Confronted, a penitent Atia repeats that she had nothing to do with the death of Octavia’s husband.

Why anyone believes this woman at this point I have no idea.  Atia is, from where I am sitting, a terrible liar.

In fact, Atia had so little to do with the death of Octavia’s husband, that she has her men attack Servilia in the street, killing Servilia’s servants, chopping off her hair, and ripping open her dress before knocking her to the ground.  Too bad Atia’s top muscle man, Timon, shows some regret over all this.

But what about Vorenus and Pullo?  Well, those guys are finally home from the wars, and Vorenus finally takes a job in his sister-in-law’s butcher shop, during which he stands up to the local loan shark’s big bald bruisers.  That earns him a threatening visit from said loan shark who says Vorenus needs to apologize to him in the forum the following day and kiss the loan shark’s as, er, feet.  You know Vorenus ain’t gonna do that.  So, while he and Pullo are arming themselves for a fight in the Vorenus family home…Caesar shows up first and offers him the position of magistrate.

Once again, proving Titus Pullo is the luckiest son of a bitch in Rome.