Seriously, why is Dorian Gray in this show? He’s a pretentious dick that is supposed to be charming, but I can’t see why anyone wants to spend time with this dink.
I bring this up because we get more teases about Dorian’s portrait in an interesting conversation between him and Vanessa about the permanence of a portrait over a photograph. Yes, he takes her out on a date and Sir Malcolm has no objections. I do. The guy’s a dink. I just want to smack him so hard…
But besides giving Vanessa a night out and some creepy sex with blood work that just screams weird diseases are possible, the biggest thing to come out of that is screwing Dorian Gray lets Vanessa hear some evil spirits again. See, those guys get it. He is not a good match for anybody.
Speaking of bad matches, Caliban meets the actress he’s smitten with. She tells him some things about her brother and he sends her a wrapped gift. Now, your standard TV tropes say this is a bad idea, but it happens anyway. And then he spies on her getting the gift, but her boyfriend walks in. She doesn’t totally dismiss the poor monster’s affections, either. She says it was nice but not something to get really excited over. Now, even though we see Victor out clearly working on making that mate for Caliban, Victor has other things to do, and when VanHelsing shows up to tell Victor all about vampires and offer some advice and give a really ironic speech about how he could die searching for elusive monsters and it would make no difference to the world, that would be when Caliban bursts in and kills VanHelsing. Dude, he and Victor weren’t that close. Pick a better target next time.
Hey, I never mentioned Sir Malcolm’s African servant Sembene before. He’s usually there helping out, but this time he actually offers some advice on how Mina might not be someone Sir Malcolm can save. This is going to be one of those really tragic things, isn’t it?
It sure seems to be going that way. Vanessa had some sort of vision implying a ship or something, so Sir Malcolm, Sembene, and Ethan go to a plague ship looking for Mina. Lots of what looks like dead albino women in there. Oh, yeah, and a vampire. All the women wake up and there’s lots of shooting and stabbing going on, but the vampire has Mina and he escapes because we still have two episodes left this season.
Is there anything nice going on? Well, Ethan and Brona made up. Hey, they both had sex with Dorian Gray. They have that much in common. I’m shuddering just thinking about that.
I really don’t like that guy…