Seriously, why do Ryan and Watson care so much about the box office report? Can Watson come back to take care of this crap?
This week, just as I was about to just toss out a no-frills edition of this nonsense, in walked a troll with a translator. And this was what he had to say:
At least, I assume it was a he. Hard to tell without checking under the loincloth, and I AM NOT GOING DOWN THERE.
Anyway. here’s the report.
Much has transpired, and I felt the need to act. While I understand the necessity of Finding Dory, the fish will survive. At $136 million dollars, it will not only survive, it will thrive.
So too will the concept of Central Intelligence, but who expected anything to exceed a Pixar film for the first place position? That movie earned a significant $34.5 million.
At third is a sequel, and now my anxiety grows. There are those who say that The Conjuring 2 is based upon true events as related by the ghost hunting protagonists. That is a lie. There is no such thing as ghosts. There is such thing as trolls, obviously, but not ghosts. The movie did not deserve a $15.5 million weekend.
Fourth place went to Now You See Me 2 with $9.6 million. That is a problem in and of itself, but not the one you are thinking of.
No, the true issue is that Warcraft came in fifth place with $6.5 million. That is unacceptable. Do you know what is absent from that movie? Trolls. Trolls would certainly appear in a sequel film, and then my troll friends and I could find work again. Do not let us lapse into obscurity. Let us find…what do you mean I look nothing like a Warcraft troll? What else would trolls look like? Really? That’s stupid! I am incensed. Excuse me while I go find someone to complain violently to.
Then he stomped off.
Titans “Caul’s Folly”
The X-Files “Pusher”
Weekend Trek “Extreme Measures”