May 30, 2023

Gabbing Geek

Your online community for all things geeky.

Gabbing Geek Box Office Report: Why Is This Still Here?

More money spent on tickets than you will ever see in your life.

Seriously, why do Ryan and Watson care so much about the box office report?  Can Watson come back to take care of this crap?

This week, just as I was about to just toss out a no-frills edition of this nonsense, in walked a troll with a translator.  And this was what he had to say:

Translator's on the left.
Translator’s on the left.

At least, I assume it was a he.  Hard to tell without checking under the loincloth, and I AM NOT GOING DOWN THERE.

Anyway. here’s the report.

Much has transpired, and I felt the need to act.  While I understand the necessity of Finding Dory, the fish will survive.  At $136 million dollars, it will not only survive, it will thrive.

So too will the concept of Central Intelligence, but who expected anything to exceed a Pixar film for the first place position?  That movie earned a significant $34.5 million.

At third is a sequel, and now my anxiety grows.  There are those who say that The Conjuring 2 is based upon true events as related by the ghost hunting protagonists.  That is a lie.  There is no such thing as ghosts.  There is such thing as trolls, obviously, but not ghosts.  The movie did not deserve a $15.5 million weekend.

Fourth place went to Now You See Me 2 with $9.6 million.  That is a problem in and of itself, but not the one you are thinking of.

No, the true issue is that Warcraft  came in fifth place with $6.5 million.  That is unacceptable.  Do you know what is absent from that movie?  Trolls.  Trolls would certainly appear in a sequel film, and then my troll friends and I could find work again.  Do not let us lapse into obscurity.  Let us find…what do you mean I look nothing like a Warcraft troll?  What else would trolls look like?  Really?  That’s stupid!  I am incensed.  Excuse me while I go find someone to complain violently to.

Then he stomped off.

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