December 4, 2023

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Jimmy Attempts To Read All Of Secret Wars 54 (House Of M Edition)


Extremely late, but I am contractually obligated to bring you the penultimate post in my Secret Wars read through.  In this installment we’ll turn the clocks back to 2005 and visit a domain based on the mega House of M event.

Remember the tie-in series to the original House of M where Peter Parker was a famous actor and businessman, believed by the world to be a mutant and happily married to Gwen Stacy?  Yeah, go read that instead.  But if you insist, after the break I’ll look at House of M: Battleworld Edition.

House of M #1

So, as typical with these Battleworld books, take the ending of the original House of M and throw it away.  It never happened.  In this domain, Magneto still rules, but not everyone is happy about it.  Notably the human population.

After a battle with Magneto’s Red Guard, the rebellion is down to Black Cat, Misty Knight and Hawkeye.  Not exactly your powerhouse team.  Until they might up with a new ally named Death Locket (she had a weird dad) who single-handedly destroys a Sentinel and gives them refuge.

Meanwhile back at Castle Greyskull, I mean, Castle Magnus, all is not happy in the mutant household.  It seems that Magneto’s son Pietro, under the guise of trade negotiations, is plotting a coup with the help of Namor and the people of Atlantis.

House of M #2


As you can probably guess from her name, Death Locket’s dad used to make Deathlok’s.  She has an army of them hanging around her lair and has her father’s knack for building things as she repairs Misty’s bionic arm.  She also just happens to have a metal free arrow tip that neutralizes mutant powers.  Good thing there’s an archer in their group!

Using that army of Deathlok’s as a distraction, Hawkeye, Misty and Cat manage to reach the inner sanctum of Magneto.  The mutant king is not even breaking a sweat dealing with the humans until Hawkeye makes good use of that arrow tip from Death Locket, firing it into the mutants shoulder.

And as if his day couldn’t get any worse, Magneto is swept away by a giant wave as his son Pietro and Namor of Atlantis make their move on Castle Magnus.

House of M #3


Magneto is powerless and it is up to his daughter Polaris to save him from the flooding waters brought forth by Namor and Mags own traitorous song Pietro.  Magneto wants to kill Hawkeye and the rest of the humans, but Polaris convinces him to stay his hand since they don’t know what the humans have done to rob him of his powers.  The soon to be disposed King and his daughter make their way from the castle with the unconscious humans in tow.

Elsewhere in the castle, Namor gives his men orders for the execution of Magneto and Polaris.  Pietro meanwhile does his best at informing the citizens of the domain and the Kings former men that he is now in charge.  Claiming that Magnus was killed in the human attack on the castle.  The very much alive Magneto finally learns of his sons treachery.

Meanwhile, someone else is not happy about the “death” of Magneto.  His daughter and Pietro’s sister, Wanda.  You know, the all powerful Scarlet Witch who is responsible for this entire timeline in the first place when she went a little nuts?  But since she’s a little on the “touched” side, she decides to join up with Pietro to rule with him.

As for Magneto and the human rebels…they take turns knocking each other out until Death Locket puts the hurt on the mutants.  When they awaken, the humans ask for Magento’s help in disposing of Pietro.  As bad as Magento has been to humans over the years, Pietro is worse and is rounding the majority of them up and sending them off to prison.

Magneto agrees to help them and the unlikely team break into the Human Reeducation Center to recruit some backup.

House of M #4


The human rebels along with mutants Magento and Polaris have freed the humans at the Human Reeducation Center.  However they are finding that getting out is a tad tougher than getting in when stealth is replaced with mayhem.  The tide turns when The Scarlet Witch’s kids, known human sympathizers, arrive to help their granddad escape.

Their advantage doesn’t last long as the king’s Red Guard arrive and it is once again Avengers vs X-Men.  While the teams battle, father confronts son.  Magneto is still powerless, but has his daughter, and Pietro’s younger sister, Polaris, to back him up.  But Pietro has his own backup in the form of Namor.  Or does he?  When Pietro’s back is turned, Namor begins to choke the life out of him, intent on taking the throne for himself.

But Magneto, powerless or not, stands up to Namor.  Unfortunately, to be any threat to Namor, he’s going to need those powers.

Meanwhile, Namor has used the songs of “sexy water women” or “sirens”, to keep the powerful Scarlet Witch asleep and out of his hair.  That is until her children arrive to stop the sirens, but they still cannot wake her.  So they join Magneto in his fight against Namor.  At which point, conveniently (and because it is the last issue and only a few pages remain), Wiccan manages to restore Magento’s power.  When asked how he did it, Wiccan basically shrugs and says “I dunno.”  Magneto then shatters Namor’s own trident into a hundred pieces and kills him with it.

Magneto releases the humans to repay the debt he owes them and retakes his throne.  And basically learns nothing from the whole experience.