Jimmy Attempts To Read All Of Secret Wars 41 (Issue 4 Edition)

Well, it took a lot longer and was a much more enjoyable journey than DC’s Convergence, but I think I’m officially burnt out on Secret Wars. I’m still looking forward to reading the last two issues, but with the new regular Marvel universe soldiering on almost as if nothing happened, and those two issues being months late, they are almost an afterthought at this point.

But, like the final days of Convergence I still have a lot of books to cover off in my attempt to read everything. Well, moreso, to blog about everything, the reading part is done. To keep myself interested now I have to make a game of it. I see how many times I can bounce Secret Wars and then try to break that record. No wait, that is a different game.

Click through as I cover, for no reason whatsoever, the fourth issue of the following books: Planet Hulk, Armor Wars, Inferno, Spider-Verse, A-Force, X-Tinction Agenda and Ultimate End.

Be sure to check out our latest Secret Wars Power Rankings, which also features links to the other parts of my read through.

Planet Hulk #4

Steve Rogers has been captured by a whole lotta Hulks.  They are bringing him to the Red King.  Which actually works out pretty well as that is where he was headed anyway.  His capture doesn’t last long as he is rescued by Doc Green.

Devil Dinosaur also shows up to help his friend and the pair storm the Red King’s castle.  The Red King is not impressed.  “When will Doom test me with a real opponent?”

Rogers informs the Red King that Doom sent him to kill him, but he has no quarrel with the Hulk, he just wants Bucky freed.  The Red King laughs and says that he sent Bucky’s head to Doomsgard months ago.  Bucky is not his prisoner, he is his trophy.

Armor Wars #4

It’s Jim Rhodes Thor versus the Kingpin and his cronies.  Rhodes is under the impression that Kingpin killed Spyder-Man, which he claims he didn’t.  After Rhodes kills him he heads back to the Hall of Justice where they have finally repaired the hard drive from Spyder-Man’s suit.  Finally having access to what Spyder-Man saw in his final moments Rhodes discovers that the real killer is…Tony Stark.

In a very convenient bit of timing Tony shows up at the HoJ just as Rhodes is watching the video.  Rhodes tries to arrest him, but Tony laughs it off.  He’s the Baron of this domain, he makes the rules.  And unfortunately for Rhodes and his men, Stark made all their armors and has frozen them all with the click of a button.

In typical “super villain” fashion, Stark then goes on to explain every detail of his plan including the murders of Ben and Peter Urich and the parents of Kiri Oshiro.  All of whom uncovered information that should have remained secret.  Unlike Bond, Rhodes doesn’t get away and Tony blows a hole in his chest.  To Tony’s surprise though he discovers that Rhodes had an illegal transmitter attached to his armor and has broadcast his confession to Kiri Oshiro.

Kiri decides to stand up to Stark and sends her two giant robots the Moving Fortresses to finish things.

Inferno #4

While Colossus can only watch in despair, his sister Illyana and her demon hordes have conquered the outer boroughs of Limbo.  Even Sheriff Strange shows up and makes her Baron of Limbo since Baron Summers has failed to protect it.

As the demons track down the last of the X-Men in the sewers, Boom Boom makes a return to lead Colossus and the others to the sewers under the demon occupied area that no one could escape from without a teleporter.  Until now, when Colossus hears the battle on the other side of a sewer wall and knocks the wall down.  Well, that was easy.  No one thought to do that the last X number of years?

With the Goblin Queen on their side, the X-Men appear to finally have the upper hand against Illyana and her demons.  That is until Mr. Sinister shows up and claims to be all their saviors.

Spider-Verse #4

Well, you just can’t keep a good Spider-Man down, and lo and behold, Peter Parker is still alive.  His reunion with the “dead in every other world in the multiverse” Gwen Stacy is short lived as Venom literally crawls out of the woodwork.  Unfortunately, this Peter Parker has lost his powers and it is up to Gwen to save the both of them.  Which of course she does by going all opening scene of Back To The Future on Venom, using a guitar and amp turned up to 11 to hurt the symbiote with sound, its biggest weakness.

Peter then announces to Norman Osborn that they need to talk.  Norman is not impressed as he believed Peter, his mortal enemy, to be long dead.  He tells his Sinister Six squad to suit up and that he will take his glider for this one.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Spider-Team have discovered that Norman is in possession of the Siege Perilous and that he plans to use it to unseat Doom.  Before that knowledge even has time to sink in, a Thor shows up and demands they all step away from the machine.

(On a side note…I’m not exactly sure why the Jackal and the Enforcers appear on the cover, they are not in this issue.)

A-Force #4

Well, Tom called that one…though, I guess it was pretty obvious when you thought about it.  When you are looking for a traitor and a female version of Loki lives on your island…there’s a good chance she is your top suspect.  And She-Hulk and her crew are looking to take the island of Arcadia back, no matter how many Thors Loki has on her side.

This go around, the A-Force team has little trouble defeating Loki and the Thors.  But in a last act of rebellion, Loki destroys a section of The Shield and allows the Marvel Zombies to invade the island.

X-Tinction Agenda #4

Original X-Tinction Agenda villian Cameron Hodge has been resurrected and the two warring X-Men factions realize that they must stop their conflict and team up against Hodge.  Hodge has a strict “the only good mutant is a dead mutant” policy, so it’s not hard to peg him as a common enemy.

And that’s the issue mostly.  Mutants verus Hodge until Havok, Wolfsbane and Boom Boom sacrifice themselves, crashing a Blackbird jet into Hodge and combining their powers to blow him and the surrounding area to kingdom come.

Ultimate End #4

So you think I’m late with my read through?  How about Ultimate End?  Issue 4 came out on August 5th.  And issue 5?  Well, we’re still waiting on that one.  It’s currently solicited for December 16th, a full four months and change since the last issue.  I get that it probably ties into the conclusion of the main Secret Wars series, but this is a bit ridiculous.  And maybe it doesn’t tie in as Secret Wars #8 is due the week before, but issue 9 is not due until January 6th.  So were they waiting for issue #8 to come out, or were they delayed all on their own?  It has been a weird series anyway that claims to be the end of the Ultimate Universe and features a domain that is supposedly the 616 and 1610 universes smashed together…but given that many of the characters, especially Spider’s Peter and Miles actually survived the Incursions and are running around elsewhere on Battleworld, the whole thing doesn’t make a lot of sense.  But I digress…

Remember last issue (probably not as it was 5 months ago) when the Tony Stark’s sent a suit of armor to rescue Bruce Banner?  Well, the other 616 and 1610 heroes have arrived on Tony’s doorstep to take him back.  Only problem is:

Which…actually doesn’t amount to much.  Since they are all just a bunch of robots and Tony and Tony and Bruce are just distracting the heroes while they figure out how to unmerge their two universes.  Which they think they may be able to do.  Until one Tony thinks they should tell Doom their findings and the other thinks they should just go ahead and do it and I can’t keep straight which Tony is which and it all leads to a big brawl with the 616 versus the 1610 again for some reason and The Punisher going crazy and targeting everyone and Old Man Logan hanging out in the background for no reason though he did end up there in his own book which just ended with a fade to white and no idea what happened.

All the while at Doomstadt, Valeria has been reporting the goings on to Doom and begging him to act, but he says no.  Everything will work itself out.

Valeria: But respectfully, just so I understand…what if it gets out of hand?

Doom: Then my will be done.

Valeria: But what if there is something in all the chaos–something we didn’t see coming…