Jimmy Attempts To Read All Of Secret Wars XXVII: Mrs. Deadpool Edition

I’ve never read much Deadpool.  I’ve got nothing against the character voted in high school as most likely to be twice played by Ryan Reynolds.  He’s just never really been something I’ve gone out of my way to spend my money on.

I’ve read some stories here and there like the old school X-Force days and any crossovers like the recent Original Sin and Avengers/X-Men: Axis .  Those last crossovers gave me some idea about what was going on with him marrying Shiklah and such.  (Looking back at it now, I actually read Deadpool #29– 34 and  #36-39.  Thanks event tie-ins!)

And speaking of event tie-ins (not the greatest segue, I’m no Watson…thank Doom…), Deadpool’s wife is center stage in this Secret Wars book.  Deadpool does play a role, but since he is killed on the first page, that role is mostly as the ghostly narrator.

After the cut I’ll take a spoiler-y look at the surprisingly good Mrs. Deadpool And The Howling Commandos #1, Mrs. Deadpool And The Howling Commandos #2, Mrs. Deadpool And The Howling Commandos #3 and Mrs. Deadpool And The Howling Commandos #4.

Related links:
Secret Wars Power Rankings
Tom’s Road To Secret Wars: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7.
Other parts of this series: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26

I’ll lead off by saying this series is hilarious and I’m not even going to attempt to include most of the jokes in my summary as I will never be able to do it justice.  This is definitely a recommended read.

Mrs. Deadpool And The Howling Commandos #1

Even though Deadpool died a month prior, he’s back!  Because Battleworld.  But not for long.  Dracula cuts off his head on page one.  But what about that pesky healing factor of his?

It seems Dracula has a little hankering for Mrs. Deadpool and he’ll let nothing stand in his way.  And if she refuses to marry him, he will kill her and all her family.  Great foundation to build a marriage on there Drac.

A short time later, Drac has killed Shiklah’s two brother’s and had Invisible Man put to death as a traitor.  When Shiklah attempts to visit the corpses of her brothers, she is stopped by the Howling Commados.  Not the old Nick Fury World War II team, but a rag tag bunch of Marvel Monsters like Werewolf by Night and Man-Thing.  Skilah uses the head of Medusa to turn them all to stone and investigates the bodies.  On one of them she discovers the Scepter of the Manticore.  Well, a part of it anyway.  The head is missing.  (Fitting, since a lot of people have lost their heads so far this issue already.)  She also finds on them a map to the headpiece.

After Dracula has her brothers bodies cremated she buys time to search for the final piece of the weapon by claiming that she needs a few days to deliver their ashes across the River Styx.  Drac agrees to give her seven days, but she must take the Howling Commandos with her to keep an eye.  That is the story he tells Shiklah, but in reality he has ordered the Commados to kill her and blame it on the surface dwellers.

Mrs. Deadpool And The Howling Commandos #2

Shiklah and the Howling Commandos reach the River Styx, but the ferryman refuses them passage because they are not dead…yet…cue zombie horde!  But some simple zombies and the ferryman himself are no match for the Commandos who fight their way across the “river”.

Once across, Shiklah keeps to her word to her brothers and spreads their ashes.  She then imforms the Commandos that this is where they part ways…how bloody that is is up to them.  Werewolf by Night informs her that they will not follow Dracula’s orders and kill her and will continue on her journey with her to find the head of the Scepter.  They want the weapon to kill Dracula as well.  They learned of it when Invisible Man spied Shiklah lifting it from her brother’s body.  But wait, isn’t he dead?  All a ruse my friends and he is still back in Monster Metropolis spying on Dracula.

Up to this point Deadpool has been a narrator and observer, but when Shiklah kisses Werewolf by Night he decides he needs to inject himself into the story.  Unfortunately for him, no one can see or hear him.

Back in Monster Metropolis two Thors have shown up to tell Dracula to knock it off with all the discourse in his domain or the Thor Corps will end it for him.

Mrs. Deadpool And The Howling Commandos #3

Shiklah’s map has lead the band of monsters to Weirdworld.  There’s no sign of Akron or Morgan le Fay (from the also recommended Weirdworld series) and the group make their way to the Sphinx where they hope to find the head of the Scepter.

Along the way Deadpool discovers that Frankenstein’s Monster can actually hear him…which is apparently “worse than nobody hearing me”.

The Temple appears to be guarded by a wizard who looks more like Shazam than say Dr. Strange, but either way the Commandos make quick work of him even after he gives them a hand and offers to negotiate.  The Commandos find the head of the Scepter and The Mummy teleports them back home…well, almost…they still have a lot of stairs to climb.

Meanwhile, in Monster Metroplis, Dracula is getting suspicious that he’s been betrayed by his Commandos and that the Invisible Man is still alive and spying on him.  He is also losing his mind, more so than usual, attacking the air wildly, thinking he smells the Invisible Man there.  Until finally he connects on something…an invisible body and he pulls the heart from its chest.  But as it turns out, he killed the Invisble Woman, Barbara, the Invisible Man’s wife.  And now the Invisible Man wants revenge!

When the Commandos finally arrive back in Monster Metroplis they find it in flames as Dracula has turned on everything and everybody and has plans for the Commandos to die next.

Mrs. Deadpool And The Howling Commandos #4

Monster Metroplis is located under the domain of Manhatten on Battleworld.  As such, when war breaks out underground, the effects are felt on the surface.  Which brings it to the attention of the Thor Corps.

It’s everyone vs Dracula.  Deadpool is not happy about being a ghost and unable to kill anyone.  Shiklah has lost the Scepter in the melee and things aren’t looking good.  Dracula is killing the Commandos one by one.

When one of Dracula’s minions finds the Scepter, Deadpool decides it is time to act.  DC’s Deadman style he dives his ghostly body into the minion and manages to take control.  He tosses the Scepter back to Shiklah who uses it to finally put an end to Dracula.

As terrible and oppressive as Dracula was as a leader, Shiklah has her own designs…to rise up and destroy the surface dwellers who have been keeping them down!  She rallies the monsters to make their way to the surface and to take down it’s inhabitants and Doom.  Even after she finally sees the ghost of Deadpool, who pleads with her not to do it, she continues unabated.

If you’ve been reading any Secret Wars at all, you know that once you even speak out against Doom, it’s not long after that the Thor Corps are at your front door…or your top hole in the ground.  When Shiklah attacks them, the Thor Corps waste no time bringing down the lightening and killing her and the rest of the monsters involved in the uprising.

Perhaps a surprising ending as our “heroes” bite the dust.  But Deadpool, who has returned to his role of narrator, is not too concerned.  He knows that he (and everyone else) will likely be back in Deadpool #1, which is right around the corner in the All-New All-Different Marvel Universe.