July 13, 2024

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Virgin Vampire: Homecoming (S3E5)

Virgin Vampire Buffy Seires First Watch

In every generation there is a Chosen One. I alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of  Netflix.  I am the slayer! And these are my chronicles while watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer for the first time…. as a 35 year old woman. That’s right – I am a Buffy virgin.

Today we will be talking about Season 3, Episode 5. If you’re (re)watching with me, tell me what you thought about this episode in the comments!

For past posts, please reference my Handy-Dandy-Xandy-Guide.

Season 3, Episode 5: Homecoming

You like me? You really, really, like me?

Ah homcoming! Yay! I love homcoming. I love, love, love, love, love homecoming. It’s a time for football games, town parades, homecoming queens, and more importantly, it’s a time for dances – magical dances!

Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure I went to every homecoming dance in high school. Hmmm, I wonder where those photos are?

OH! Here they are…

Homecoming – Sophomore Year – 1996
Homecoming – Group – Sophomore Year – 1996
Homecoming – Junior Year – 1997
Homecoming – Group – Junior Year – 1997

I officially apologize to any friends past and present who are in these photos and are now “outed” for being my friend… or date… or just acquainted with me. Please submit all complaints to our nostalgia department.

My guess is that the clever readers out there have already noticed that I did not post my Senior year photo. And you would be right. There is a reason for that. Bottom line, I can’t find them. But I do remember who I went with – and it was a very special night (get your mind out of the gutter people, not that kind of special night). And if I ever do find those photos of me and M (I’ll protect his name for now), then I’ll post. But alas, you’ll have to do with my Sophomore and Junior years. You’re welcome.

Anyway – this is not about me – this is about Buffy. So we should get back to that, right?


I absolutely loved this episode if only for two glaring reasons. #1 being that Buffy shows real signs of wanting to “fit in” again, and #2 being the (what we shall now forever call) “the Willow and Xander incident.”

Let’s tackle Buffy first.

BtVS S03E05 Board Buffy
Like really, I should win this popularity thing! I’ve got a white board and everything!

Buffy is suffering from “why are people not paying attention to me” syndrome. And she’s had enough. To combat her me-me-me’s she decides to run for homecoming queen. Because – sure, why not. That’s what I would do.

Actually, I did once. And lost by one vote. ONE VOTE people… cry me a river. This is a true story. My friend was in on the ballot counting, and told me that it was so close they had to count it three different times, and each time I came up short by one vote. Of course, she could have totally lied to me. Which actually makes more sense. Damn it. My whole high school existence is a sham. Or not. Who cares.

Anyway- Buffy’s competition for Homecoming Queen is obviously Blah-Cordelia. If you didn’t already notice from the photo above. Take a closer look and you’ll see that Buffy has categorized Blah-Cordelia’s strengths and weaknesses with one of her weaknesses being Xander. HA! Touché Buffster!


Regardless of her petty competition with Blah-Cordelia, we get the sense that poor Buffy’s involvement in the whole Homecoming Queen fiasco is more about her trying to find some normality in her life again, verses trying to beat Cordelia. And I think we’ve all been there. Some days the crazy train runs away with our lives and we’re left looking at ourselves wondering what the hell happened. If only running for Homecoming Queen would fix our broken hearts and minds like it did Buffy – we’d all be wearing dresses.

But on to more important things like Willow & Xander.

Willow and Xander sitting in a tree…


Wait – What? Kissing? Kissing?

Oh yes.

That. Just. Happened.

I can’t begin to tell you how much I was rooting for these two uber-dorks to kiss. Not only because I love Willow and Xander and think it is a good idea for them to be a couple, but more because I totally identified with this experience. Let me explain.

My Senior year there was this boy – we shall call him “M”. “M” and I were inseparable. Best friends for a period of time. I would go to his house and hang out, and I’m pretty sure he came over a couple of times to mine as well. At school we hung out every break and at lunch. He was the type of guy you race to see because he’s the funny one of the group, always there to brighten your day and make you smile. One day it was brought to my attention that “M” wanted to be more than friends.  If you were to categorize he and I, you could say I acted a bit like Xander, oblivious to his adoration and perfectly fine with the status quo of our friendship – and he was Willow, a much cooler, funnier Willow. And there was a time that I wanted to kiss “M”, but never did. Actually – spoiler alert – I was a coward and a dick. I won’t get into the details, but just know that “M” and I never made it past going to Homecoming together, and that’s about it. Oddly enough, I went on to date a different “M” who I’ve mentioned before as my high school crush who lived up the street from me. The “M’s” I’m describing are two different “M’s.” M&M’s if you will. I know that may be confusing, but that’s not the point. What’s my point?

Oh! Willow & Xander Kissing! Yes!

That’s why I jumped for joy when Willow and Xander threw caution into the wind! HOLY SHIT – THEY KISSED! They did it! They had the courage to just say fuck-it and go for the gold. Let’s see it again from another angle:

You taste like strawberry chapstick

But OH GOD! What about Blah-Cordelia? Oh no…. even though I really want Xander and Willow to end up together, I don’t condone being a dick. Speaking from experience, it doesn’t leave you feeling very good about yourself, nor is it fair to the other person.

What a predicament these two are in. It looks to me that Xander has feelings for Willow. And we all know from previous episodes that Willow has feelings for Xander – so this seems right. But if real life has taught me anything – it’s that sometimes the guy and girl of the story don’t end up together. And that’s life.

So now they have to figure out what to do about “the kiss” and I don’t think it’s going to be easy. Next time we see them, they are at the actual Homecoming dance – and it’s awkward as hell. As it should be. And what’s bothering me most of all, is that if  Xander is anything like me, then he probably will try to sweep this under the rug and forget it ever happened. Don’t you do it Xander – don’t you do that to Willow!

Damn it Jenny Xander. You’re better than that. But I guess we won’t find out until the next episode. *sigh*

Until next time – keep on slaying Buffy fans!