Because what’s the point of having a giant, geeky list of all 64 movies I saw in 2014 if I’m not going to share it with my fellow geeks? I’ve already listed my ten favorite movies of the year. And I got some great therapy by blasting what I considered the ten worst movies of the year.
Now here is the full list of all 64 movies I saw in 2014 ranked by awesomeness. Plus you get to look at movie posters! Full list after the break.
1. Interstellar
2. Big Hero 6
3. Guardians of the Galaxy
4. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
5. John Wick
6. Into the Woods
7. Edge of Tomorrow
8. X-Men: Days of Future Past
9. The Raid 2
10. Chef
11. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
The thing that impressed me the most about this movie was that Marvel was able to pull off a massive head fake with the title. Calling this movie Winter Soldier is like calling the first Avengers movie Quest For Shawarma–true, yet avoids the major reveal.
12. 22 Jump Street
I’m a bit sad that 22 Jump Street couldn’t crack my top 10 only because it is not just a fantastic comedy but possibly the best comedy sequel ever made. On its face, there are so many jokes to love. There is a moment with Channing Tatum (“Ding!”) that is one of the funniest on screen for the year. And there are even some fantastic jokes for hardcore movie fans–particularly the Meet Cute joke.
13. The Hundred-Foot Journey
This movie is the ultimate comfort food. It was so good my wife read the book later–she said it’s vastly different and the Disneyfication helped the movie a ton.
14. God Help the Girl
This movie is so quirky you’ll be 5% Zooey Deschanel after viewing it. If you are already Zooey Deschanel you will be 105% Zooey Deschanel after viewing. Great tunes, a fun story, and something very different. Go watch it.
15. Amazing Spider-Man 2
Without Emma Stone this movie would have been a total mess. No wonder Sony has no idea what to do now.
16. Tim’s Vermeer
Jaw dropping. Literally. My jaw was open during much of this movie.
17. Pride
Fantastic movie that I wish more people would see. Go see it, okay? This stuff is important.
18. Gone Girl
I didn’t read the book but this was amazing. Rosamund Pike deserves some Oscar love for this.
19. The Imitation Game
This scored lower because I read Neal Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon many years ago, so I was happy they got the details right but it didn’t give a lot of new information. I also felt the ending was forced and tacked on which made it seem a bit preachy–a shame because of the importance of the message.
20. Draft Day
This movie is a fantastic little movie. It isn’t important, it isn’t serious, it’s just fun. You don’t even need to like football to appreciate the draft and negotiations that take place. And it has one line at the end which is possibly the best line of any movie in 2014.
21. Nightcrawler
You will feel like taking several Silkwood showers after seeing this movie. Too bad it’s Michael Keaton’s year to win the Oscar because otherwise Jake Gyllenhaal should win all the trophies.
22. Wild
Impressive. Not my type of movie but I enjoyed it.
23. The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1
No. No no no no no. STOP SPLITTING MOVIES THAT DON’T NEED TO BE SPLIT! If they had made a single movie of Mockingjay (I liked the book, unlike many others) then that would be a GREAT movie. Instead they split in two and didn’t even take advantage of the extra screen time. Case in point: Gale. They have extra time to show HOW Gale rises among the military units of District 13 but they don’t show it. And that’s important to the resolution of the next movie. Instead he just suddenly appears among their top 6 soldiers? FAIL.
24. Begin Again
A few great songs. Confusing ending.
25. The LEGO Movie
Everything was partially awesome and partially boring.
26. Bad Words
A grown-up using a loophole to compete in spelling bees for kids? Brilliant.
27. Robocop
Shocked this didn’t end up in the bottom 20, but it was surprisingly okay.
28. Birdman, or A Really Long Title That Is Supposed To Give You A New Interpretation But It Doesn’t
This is an okay film but I don’t understand all the hype. Except that it’s about actors and acting and creative works and so the people that make movies love this stuff more than other topics. Michael Keaton does a fine job but it isn’t incredibly revealing or new, it’s just solid. I also wasn’t a fan of the single shot technique.
29. The Equalizer
Thank you, Equalizer franchise, for coming along with this solid first shot. You may now replace Taken.
30. The Interview
F&*^ you hackers.
31. Snowpiercer
Clever story and visual techniques. But a bit boring.
32. Skeleton Twins
The darkest movie I laughed at all year. Good stuff.
33. The Book of Life
Seriously–how do you make a movie about someone who wants to be a Mariachi musician and all he sings are covers of AMERICAN POP SONGS?!?! The movie is told as a story within a story to let some kids better appreciate Mexican culture. They do this by having their main character play Mumford and Sons. That is not a joke, that’s a travesty. But it was pretty.
34. Godzilla
If movies were forced to use accurate titles then this would have been called Short Peaks At Godzilla Before Something Blocks The Stuff You Wanted To Watch. But that would be a hard poster to pull off.
35. The Grand Budapest Hotel
And if this movie had to use an accurate title it would be Another Wes Anderson Movie But This One Has Ralph Fiennes.
36. Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
This deserves its spot in the middle of the pack because I can’t remember liking or hating it. But I have a ticket from when I saw it, so I saw it. I’m pretty sure.
37. Non-Stop
Better than Taken 3. But so was every other movie on this list. Had a somewhat clever story, I’ll give it that. But predictable too.
38. 3 Days to Kill
I expected this to be so bad I could make fun of it. Instead it was just okay which made me angrier.
39. Showrunners: The Art of Running a TV Show
I wanted this to be more interesting than it was. Great subject, not a lot of insight.
40. Divergent
Isn’t it great that we can have a movie that prominently features a female action hero and then you make a poster that just puts her butt in the exact center?
41. Horns
I liked this book and the movie made the right changes to pull it off as a movie, but it still wasn’t that great.
42. Rio 2
Pretty colors. Pretty boring.
43. A Most Wanted Man
I’d give this movie back for another year of Philip Seymour Hoffman. That isn’t too hard since the movie was so slow, so maybe I’ll throw in some others too.
44. To Be Takei
No new information for Takei fans. But fun to watch him interact with his husband and fans.
45. Muppets Most Wanted
I most wanted a better script to go along with this great cast.
46. The Theory of Everything
Ugh. I was hoping this would be like A Beautiful Mind but with astrophysics. Instead this was like My Left Foot with one speech about a black hole. And the focus of the relationship between the two main characters is fine, but it feels like they leave most of the interesting details out. When they break up (it’s a biography people, that’s not a spoiler) it comes out of left field. Maybe that’s how it happens in the UK? Doubtful.
47. Dolphin Tale 2
Morgan Freeman will take any job and cash any check and he’s still awesome. This movie was not.
48. Wish I Was Here
Wish this was better. I get the whole vibe Zach Braff goes for and I even contirbuted to the Kickstarter, but ultimately I didn’t connect with any of this. I’m still wondering what happened to the dog (the reason for some of the plot moving forward at the start of the film).
49. Life Itself
This should have been so much better. Roger Ebert was amazing, this felt blah.
50. How to Train Your Dragon 2
I had to leave halfway through the movie because it was too intense for my youngest son. I did get a chance to see it later and, yeah, it just isn’t that good. Mostly because it abandons the spirit and tone of the first film and goes for an all-out action story.
51. Lucy
The first act of the movie with how it contrasts human behavior with animal hunting videos was great. Then it slips into the most tired, nonsensical let’s-use-100%-of-our-brain-so-we-can-use-The-Force-and-be-geniuses BS that it becomes ludicrous.
52. Neighbors
It just wasn’t funny. When your best moment involves a sofa with an ejector seat, you’ve given up.
53. The Boxtrolls
Yes, it took them a billion years to make this movie. But why did they bother?
54. Automata
Booooooooooooooooring. Really boring. Robo-boring.
55. The Signal
56. Annie
57. Alexander and the Terrible…
58. The Machine
59. Planes: Fire and Rescue
60. Mr. Peabody & Sherman
61. Penguins of Madagascar
62. Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return
63. Night At The Museum: Secret of the Tomb
64. The Nut Job
64? Paltry!
I don’t have 26 free weekends like you do. 🙂
Less hurtful than when I mentioned owning 4 Xboxes a week after I decided to get a divorce and you said “Does that mean you’ll soon have two?” THAT was snark!
You got the last laugh by giving her the two broken ones.
Only our love had the red ring of death.
Penicillin handled it. #herps