The Great “Moscow Mule”

OK, so, if people know anything about Catherine the Great, they’ve heard, you know, the horse story.  It’s almost certainly not really true (I honestly don’t know for certain, but c’mon, it sounds like slander).

This episode tackles that, ensuring that The Great is a series I probably shouldn’t be writing up on my work computer.

Right now, life is good for Catherine.  Sure, Peter is still a self-centered manchild, but the sex with Leo is awesome.  She doesn’t want to talk about it with the ladies at court, but it’s awesome.  And then a rumor starts to go around that she copulated with a horse.

There’s no rule at Gabbing Geek that says I can’t use profanity, but I strive really hard not to use the really strong ones.  This is gonna be rough since the woman who started the rumor, the most popular woman in court, calls Catherine Horse Fu…well, you know, to the Empress’s face.  Now, if this were Peter, he’d probably ignore it, laugh it off, or have someone executed.  Or all three.  Peter is an asshole after all.

“Asshole” I don’t mind using.

But then again, Peter believes you should be friends with your wife’s lover, just as he’s friends with the man whose wife he keeps screwing.  Peter has problems.

Also, he needs to pick a new Patriarch for the Russian Orthodox Church.  He doesn’t want to.  Court Orlo has someone in mind, someone who won’t object to Catherine’s eventual take over.  Granted, the guy just sits there, but he’s one of four candidates.  And then Peter does a King Lear and asks the four to tell him how much they love him.  Three do, starting with Orlo’s pick whose talk is pretty mild.  The fourth sets himself on fire.

Ouch.

Catherine, meanwhile, keeps trying to fix the rumor.  She tries to befriend the popular woman’s friends with gifts and visits.  That gets her literally roughed up at a dance.  She tries moping after that.  Fortunately, Aunt Elizabeth has some advice.  See, Catherine is an Empress.  She doesn’t have to be their friend, and she doesn’t need those women to like her.

Oh, a slap to Marial in public and some tough talk put a stop to that whole mess.  She even manages to get Archie named the new Patriarch.  Sure. things are starting to look up again.

And then Peter at a public ceremony, just before he calls for an orgy, off-handedly mentions Catherine copulated with a horse.

Man, he is the worst, isn’t he?

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: