One thing that came up early with this new Enterprise is that it has children on board, the sons and daughters of the different members of the crew, and that Captain Picard doesn’t like kids very much.
Well, that comes to a head with the episode “When the Bough Breaks,” and Jimmy and Tom have some thoughts there.
“When the Bough Breaks”
An advanced society finds a way around its sterility: steal some children from the Enterprise!
jimmy: I knew as soon as I saw that Deep Throat guy that those people couldn’t be trusted.
tomk: How did you feel about Sue Ellen Mischke being there? Possibly wearing a bra?
jimmy: THAT’S who that was! I knew she looked familiar!
tomk: These days, actress Brenda Strong plays Lex Luthor’s mother on Supergirl.
jimmy: Wearing a bra?
tomk: I assume so.
jimmy: And still sterile?
tomk: Well, she was Lex Luthor’s mother, so I am guessing no.
jimmy: Good for her!
tomk: But her other kid, Lena was adopted.
jimmy: That was before Crusher’s “antidote” could take affect.
tomk: Maybe. Then again, Lena has great hair.
jimmy: That’s true.
It’s funny how many 21st Century Earth issues rear their ugly heads as 24th Century issues on other planets.
tomk: It’s almost like they planned it that way.
jimmy: It starts off as such an innocent child abduction story and turns into a lecture on the ozone layer.
tomk: Some abduction. Those people were going to rebuild their society with seven kids.
jimmy: There seemed to only be about 5 of them on the planet anyway.
tomk: I get the impression that this planet had more problems than they let on or knew about.
jimmy: And how could they live there 1,000+ years and not have any idea what was in that room? And, how did they find that room 2 minutes after Picard convinced them they needed help?
tomk: Picard can be very persuasive.
jimmy: Still, it was like
“You guys got radiation poisoning.”
“No, our doctors would have detected that.”
“Your doctors are idiots.”
“Ok, you’re right. Will you help us?”
“Of course. Where will we start?”
“Well, there is this door that no one has ever entered. Maybe we should look and see what’s in there?”
tomk: They didn’t do maintenance on the master computer either. Not even a server update.
jimmy: Probably how Data was able to disable it in 5 minutes.
tomk: Data at least kept his antivirus software up to date.
jimmy: You do have to wonder how a planet with the advanced technology they had could be blinded to what was making them sick?
tomk: They didn’t question anything. Including the one thing that provided answers.
jimmy: And where did they get the information about places of the universe that the Federation didn’t even know about? It didn’t seem like they were much for travelling the cosmos. Unless there is a hell of a distance on that transporter.
tomk: They didn’t go anywhere. They looked very far with stuff that could knock a starship three days’ travel away.
jimmy: That’s a hell of a telescope.
tomk: It can spot fleas from a Klingon beard in the Neutral Zone.
jimmy: That’s impressive.
Speaking of Klingons, they seem to be giving Worf more to do than Tasha. I’m sure it will be fine.
tomk: Well, I have some Tasha facts I learned but that’s for a future episode.
As for Worf facts, um, he has some.
But hey, imagine how this went for Picard. He had to rescue a bunch of kids, including Wesley.
jimmy: He seemed ok with that…until they tried to hug him.
tomk: And left stuffed tribbles stuck to his back.
jimmy: Heh. Was it a tribble?
tomk: I think so.
They played a variation on the “funny Trek scene” theme from the original show.
jimmy: The rest of the crew seemed to get a good chuckle.
tomk: It’s always good to laugh at the man with the most authority.
jimmy: Sometimes the man with the most authority is a clown. Not Picard, but sometimes.
tomk: Well, we aren’t on the USS Dodo.
jimmy: They might as well have been.
I mean, what kind of repulser ray can send the Enterprise 3 days away at warp 9???
jimmy: Even Stark couldn’t design that tech.
jimmy: Do you think people in the 24th Century will still be talking about Atlantis?
tomk: It beats talking about the Lost City of Atlanta. That just makes for a good Futurama episode.
tomk: It’s not as cool as blatantly handing Wesley a tricorder.
jimmy: That’s how they do sly in the 24th century.
tomk: Good thing Deep Throat and Sue Ellen Mischke had poor vision on top of everything else. Bright light hits them like a Mogwai.
jimmy: Speaking of, here are the symptoms of radiation poisoning:
- Nausea and vomiting
- Dizziness and disorientation
- Weakness and fatigue
- Hair loss
- Bloody vomit and stools from internal bleeding
- Low blood pressure
Not seeing much “sensitivity to light” or “impotence” in there.
tomk: What about loss of ozone protection to humans?
That’s been known to cause eye problems.
jimmy: Negative effects include increases in certain types of skin cancers, eye cataracts and immune deficiency disorders. UV radiation also affects terrestrial and aquatic ecosystems, altering growth, food chains and biochemical cycles. Aquatic life just below the water’s surface, the basis of the food chain, is particularly adversely affected by high UV levels. UV rays also affect plant growth, reducing agricultural productivity.
I’m no expert. I’m just seeing what Dr. Google tells me.
tomk: I don’t trust Dr. Google. He says everything is cancer.
jimmy: Well, let’s just say that they were sick from all their awesome technology that was created by “God” and move along.
tomk: Ok. So, this episode outright said Wesley is special.
jimmy: He knows how to stage a silent protest. That’s pretty special.
tomk: And sneak into small children’s bedrooms.
Nothing creepy there.
jimmy: And wake them by violently shaking them.
tomk: Those kids are probably used to abduction by then.
jimmy: You’re probably right.
tomk: It’s a burden.
Well, this is all well and good, but the important thing is Picard had to pretend he liked children. And he held it to almost the end when Picard reacted with anger when Wesley brought a small girl to the bridge to thank him.
jimmy: I’m not sure that was really even about his dislike of kids in general. Wesley should have found a more appropriate time and place to bring her to see Picard. Not the bridge.
tomk: They only had so many sets in the budget.
jimmy: Haha. But they do have other sets. The ready room. Sick bay. The holodeck, etc. It just seemed like a huge protocol breach for Wesley to stroll on there with a kid. Especially since he wasn’t even allowed on the bridge as a teenager initially.
tomk: But how else can we get the bridge drew to laugh at Picard?
jimmy: Sigh. Fine.
tomk: I don’t write the episodes.
Anything else for this one, Jimmy?
jimmy: Well, that went fast. Hmmm. Can’t really think of anything. You?
tomk: Not really. Ozone. Bras. Deep Throat. Lots of weird, and everyone laughs at Picard.
But Picard’s mission is to seek out new life and new civilizations. Maybe he should do some of that.
jimmy: That’s catchy. Did you just come up with that?
Shall we move on?
jimmy: Make it so.