If it’s Star Trek, then going somewhere for shore leave is bound to have some unexpected hazards.
Case in point is the episode “Justice,” where Wesley Crusher finds out the hard way to watch where he steps. Jimmy and Tom have some thoughts on that.
The Enterprise visits a planet that seems perfect for shore leave—until Wesley steps on some flowers.
jimmy: Always keep them running.
tomk: And never tell your guests the rules.
jimmy: As dumb as Wesley facing execution for falling in some flowers is…c’mon Wes…you never saw those giant flower beds and barrier nor heard people yelling at you not to go in there? Are we sure he’s Starfleet material?
tomk: He wasn’t facing the flowers.
jimmy: Well, he’ll never make it as a wide receiver at the very least.
tomk: Those people didn’t know what bats were. I can’t imagine how he was going to explain football.
jimmy: Who needs bats when you have hugs and silver balls?
tomk: And clothes that stay on with good intentions.
jimmy: Lol. Right? Walking Handstand Guy had me worried for a second.
tomk: That attire was so original series.
jimmy: No doubt,. Good thing they were fit.
tomk: The Planet of Blonde Hedonists isn’t as much fun if the residents are out of shape.
jimmy: Or you break the law.
tomk: Free Love everywhere. Even Worf might get some.
jimmy: And if he “breaks” one of them and not in a designated area, all is forgiven.
tomk: No rules outside the fenced-in areas!
jimmy: Awfully coincidental that that zone just happened to be designated when Wes took his swan dive. But I guess otherwise, there’s no show besides hanging with God.
tomk: God-like beings around a simpler planet is also so original series.
jimmy: Are you saying this might be one of those unproduced/left over scripts?
tomk: No, I’m saying this one played a lot like an original series episode.
The biggest difference being Picard consistently does care about the Prime Directive. Kirk only remembers it exists when it’s convenient.
jimmy: And Kirk woulda nailed that chick he brought to the Enterprise.
tomk: Before he even got to the Enterprise.
But Riker does that sort of thing in this season to make Troi jealous or something.
jimmy: I was going to say that about Kirk too. He’d be on the away mission.
Troi is always jealous when Riker does anything flirtatious. Riker don’t give a damn.
tomk: She really only seems to exist to moon over Riker. Kinda like Yeoman Rand in the original series.
jimmy: And tell the Captain what everyone is obviously feeling.
tomk: If she even does that.
Though every time Riker requests taking Troi somewhere, I think he’s asking Picard if he can sneak off for a quickie.
jimmy: Because there is no time for that between away missions.
tomk: They probably did a lot of that while dropping off the colonists before the episode started.
jimmy: So, what was “God”’s story? Did he/they plant those people there? Just stumbled upon the planet and set up shop as deities?
tomk: You know as much as I do.
jimmy: I guess we’ll get the full story in a future episode.
tomk: Um, not really.
This is episodic Trek. We don’t get much explanation in future stories for every little mystery.
jimmy: There’s something to be said for stand alone episodes, but you know I love me some continuity.
tomk: Well, we can pretend there’s some.
Like, wait until we get to another Free Love planet where everybody runs everywhere!
jimmy: …that doesn’t happen,
tomk: Yeah, I gotta say, maybe it’s because I’m not a fan of public sex with strangers no matter what they look like, but the planet didn’t seem like that much fun.
jimmy: Not a fan of public sex with strangers?!?!
tomk: I am not Watson.
jimmy: Thank God.
tomk: It’s like a Trek thing, where people in love do stuff like chase each other while laughing or climb a tree and laugh stupidly like Spock did that one time.
It doesn’t seem…right.
jimmy: All you need is a fully functional android.
tomk: Who doesn’t really get to visit.
jimmy: Having a blue ball on your head will do that to you.
tomk: Should we ask Data if it was good for him?
jimmy: We’re not Watson.
tomk: Thank God.
Well, something that we can maybe agree on is how the Prime Directive works here. Picard basically breaks it with “God’s” approval because they taught that society about the concept of extenuating circumstances.
jimmy: Or because he wasn’t going to let Wesley die for trampling some flowers.
tomk: It came down to real justice. Wesley broke a rule accidentally and clearly did not deserve to die for that.
Besides, you deal with Crusher if her son doesn’t come back…
Obviously, Wesley deserves to die for being the character the fans hate instead.
jimmy: I don’t hate Wesley as a character. I do find Wheaton is not that strong an actor though. I don’t think Wes needs to be stranded in time and eaten by a T-Rex.
tomk: Eh, I don’t think even Adric deserved the Adric death.
But you’ll have to take my word on that.
jimmy: I will. And agreed about your statement above, Picard definitely didn’t want to face the wraith of Dr. Crusher.
tomk: Would you? There’s this idea about a redhead’s temper…
jimmy: I would do as Picard did.
tomk: But last I checked, it was Crusher pushing for the crew to get some fresh air that out Wesley in danger in the first place.
jimmy: Well, that’s more coincidence than anything. And hardly a call for lethal injection.
tomk: Yes, but if Picard wasn’t such a good diplomat, he totally would have played that card. “You know, Doctor, you were the one insisting we get the children on the ship some fresh air.”
How else were the kids going to just run around, do handstands, and toss a ball back and forth.
jimmy: Good leaders don’t blame everyone else when something goes wrong.
Better leaders successfully negotiate with God.
jimmy: What does God need with a starship?
tomk: This God certainly didn’t need one if he was willing to blow the nearest one up.
jimmy: And already had a DS-G.
tomk: Plus an Orb o’ Knowledge.
jimmy: I need one of those.
tomk: Try Costco. They may be selling them in bulk.
tomk: So tell me, Jimmy, would you want to visit this planet?
jimmy: Hmm. Good question. I am big on scantily clad fit women. But I’m not big in running. It’s a tough one.
tomk: I think I’d pass. The place seemed awfully superficial.
jimmy: Well, you’re only visiting.
Just make sure you don’t break any laws.
tomk: These people conveniently forget to tell people that.
jimmy: I think some of the blame falls on the Enterprise crew for not doing enough investigation.
tomk: They were looking forward too much to all that running everywhere.
jimmy: The crew is pretty fit. I doubt Kirk if that time period would have been impressed.
tomk: They kinda had to be. Roddenberry insisted the uniforms be made of spandex. When he died, the producers switched to cotton to the cast’s relief because apparently spandex absorbs sweat and the smell never comes out.
jimmy: Yeah, all the spandex I wear is like that.
jimmy: And how!
tomk: Try cotton.
jimmy: Anything we haven’t covered?
tomk: We covered more than this episode’s costume department.
jimmy: Haha, very true.
tomk: Ready to move on?