Simpsons Did It!: “The Incredible Lightness Of Being A Baby”

So, there was a Simpsons short before the latest Pixar movie Onward, a little thing with Maggie Simpsons finding love with another baby.

This episode follows up on that.  The short is currently on Disney+ if you’re curious.  Or if you aren’t.  It’s not like your curiosity level determines where that short will be.

Yes, Maggie met a little boy baby, apparently named Hudson.  And while Maggie and Hudson seem to be really hitting it off, Marge and Hudson’s well-to-do mother Courtney are another story.  Marge feels intimidated, and Courtney for some reason wants to share her sexual history with Marge as part of the process of allowing their kids to have playdates.  Courtney is a high-caliber modern mother and Marge is like something out of an old sitcom.

That plot doesn’t really go anywhere.  Marge doesn’t take Maggie to Hudson’s first birthday because Courtney makes Marge uncomfortable, but then Marge and Courtney both agree the important thing is to pretend to like each other because their children are in love, or the infant facsimile.

Alright, so that plot didn’t go anywhere.  What about the other plot?  That one was about Homer.  Surely that went somewhere, right?

Well…

See, Homer started off deciding to do the unprecedented by skipping his breakfast of both flapjacks and pancakes to do something to watch for his health.  He opts to take…a grapefruit to go, an act that shocks the rest of his family and a passing Ned Flanders.

Yeah, but then Homer tosses the grapefruit away on the road somewhere, causing a baseball player to catch the grapefruit instead of the ball and costing the team the pennant.  Why?  Homer has a cold pizza in his trunk he can reheat with a cigarette lighter.  But then his hands are greasy (he neglected to don his pizza-eating gloves), and he can’t turn the wheel of his car to go to the Power Plant, crashing into a tree and getting a call from Carl that Homer is missing the staff meeting, and the only empty seats are next to Mr. Burns.  Poor Lenny is on the other side of Burns.

Can Homer avoid trouble?  Sure.  He buys some helium balloons from Cletus.  Turns out the slack-jawed yokel discovered a helium deposit on his land, and he’s been selling balloons on the side of the road ever since.

That actually does get Homer out of trouble.  Burns needs helium for the Plant, and since it’s a redneck hillbilly, Burns figures he can get Cletus to sell the land really cheap.  And Cletus might if Burns can share a drink of moonshine with the local yokel.

Burns cannot.  The stuff makes him go really funny.

That means Burns decides to use Homer.  Homer is also dumb, and it turns out Homer loves the moonshine, so Burns believes Homer can trick Cletus into giving up the land cheap.  And if Homer doesn’t want to, well, Burns has two hired goons for that.  One likes causing pain and the other likes laughing at other people getting hurt.

So, is this plot going anywhere?  Nah!  Homer and Cletus become friends, and Homer of course does the right thing and stops Cletus from signing his land away to Burns.  Burns tries threatening both men, but then Cletus, Brandine, all of their kids including the one riding a pig and a baby, and someone in an outhouse pull shotguns and force Burns to buy the land at a reasonable price.  This upsets the old man, so Cletus offers him a big nose blast of helium, which causes Burns to float away and get hit by high voltage when he hits a nearby powerline.

So, we had two plots, and I never felt like either really went anywhere,  but that may be par for the course for the show that will not die.  I mean, I remember old episodes where so much would happen in the 22 or so minute runtime of the episode, but this one, well, when it ended, I was wondering when it was going to actually get started.

Oh well.  We’re getting towards the end of another season either way.  Maybe next week something will happen!

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