Vikings “Death And The Serpent”

Last time, I said the whole episode felt like it was waiting for something to happen.

I think that something happened in this episode.

To be fair, two things happen.  Three if you count Ivar not only watching Oleg marry the lookalike for Ivar’s dead wife, but also being forced to watch them consummate the match on a dinner table.

Um, ew.

No, the two things were first, Harald winning the election to kingship because he played actual politics, mostly by telling other lords and jarls and kings what they wanted to hear, but then shrugging whether or not he’ll actually do any of those things.  He does promise Flatnose the kingship of Iceland, but by then, Flatnose realizes something is up and hustles Bjorn off before Harald’s men kill Bjorn.  Why?  Bjorn never really wanted to be king.  He went along with the plan because why not, and he isn’t the type to try and topple Harald anyway.  Must be the whole “sons of Ragnar” thing that keeps coming up.  The only thing that saves Bjorn and Flatnose is the timely arrival of an outlaw named Erik.  He’s got some red hair.  I think I know where that’s going, but Bjorn is going back to Kattegat.

But the bigger thing isn’t Bjorn.  It’s Lagertha.  She, well, fights off those bandits again with the help of Gunnhild (who is pregnant) and whatever shieldmaidens, old men, and boys she has left.  And the bandits got smart, killing Lagertha’s archers and the one old guy at the gate before entering…the elaborate wooden maze full of booby traps Lagertha built.

Why didn’t the bandits just burn the wooden walls?  Seriously.  I mean, these guys were trouble and dangerous, so doing the obvious is good for the series’ protagonists, but that thought did cross my mind.

Anyway, Lagertha and her forces do drive off or kill most of the bandits, with the leader called White Hair fighting her to the death.  That would be his, but she’s badly wounded before killing the jackass with her splintered shield and his own sword.

But she was also wounded badly in the process, and leaving a not-as-badly wounded Gunnhild behind, Lagertha heads to Kattegat to die.

Hold on, didn’t Eyeless Seer Dude say a son of Ragnar would kill her?  I mean, Ivar wants nothing more than to do that, and ironically it could be Bjorn for some reason since he’s the only one of Ragnar’s sons who is also Lagertha’s kid, but neither of them are around right now.  Is Lagertha going to die for other reasons?

Nope!  Hvitserk, in a drunken stupor, does it when he thinks he’s attacking a snake-monster version of Ivar.  Lagertha, for what it’s worth, accepts all this because it’s fate and she forgives the dumbass drunk.  Hvitserk, well, he ran away.

I think that’s my new favorite gif…

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