Gabbing Game of Thrones: Rating the Deaths (Spoilers)

We are days away from the final season of Game of Thrones; one of the greatest shows of all-time!  In preparation for the season premiere on April 14th, we are looking back at the first seven seasons and making lists about…everything!

Today, we are looking at all those so many deaths and ranking them as Tragic, Stunning, Satisfying, Noble, Conflicted, or just George RR Martin Padding His Stats.  Not EVERY death is included.  There are far too many, but I think I got all the key deaths.

If you want me to score someone not rated, post their name in the comments section!

Here we go!

Rating the Deaths

Before we get started, let me be a jerk…

Any of the Direwolves

How they went:  One was executed one orders of Robert and Cersei.  One died at the Red Wedding.  One died when the White Walkers attacked the Three Eyed Raven.  One died when an Umber betrayed Rickon.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: Couldn’t care less. Judge me if you dare.

Ok… moving on…

Season One

Visarys

How they went:  Khal Drogo poured a melted “crown” of molten gold on his head when he threatened the life of his sister, Daenerys;  who was celebrating her pregnancy with the Khal’s baby..

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: This was the first death of a main character.  We didn’t know yet that would become a normal Sunday.  Still, it was so satisfying to see this smug idiot removed from the Game.

Jory Cassel

How they went:  Jamie Lannister’s men killed Ned’s household guard.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding his stats.

Hot Take: It was sad at the time, but looking back, it barely registers.  Did you know Jory is the nephew of Ser Roderick, head of Ned’s military?  Or do you not even remember Jory at all?

Robert Baratheon

How they went:  He was drugged by Lancel Lannister and it allowed a boar to maul him during a hunt.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Shocking

Hot Take:  Mark Addy was a well known actor at the time so he seemed as safe as the main character Ned; played by the very famous Sean Bean.  Little did we know how silly that would be, but it is still shocking.  Robert’s death was obviously necessary for the series to get to the War of the Five Kings.

Syrio Forel

How they went:  Died defending Arya against Meryn Trent and the King’s Guard.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Noble

Hot Take: He didn’t even hesitate to protect Arya from the brutality of the simmering civil war.  Can you imagine if he had actually had a sword during that fight?

Ned Stark

How they went:  Beheaded by Ser Illyn Payne on the orders of Joffrey.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Stunning!

Hot Take: WHAT??? Sean Bean isn’t safe?  This is when we knew NO ONE was safe.  Ned’s death could be tragic.  It could be noble.  But it is the least likely to be a stat padder of ANY death!  This death changed the way we watch television.  If Joffrey had simply let him take the Black, what would have happened?

Khal Drogo

How they went:  After getting wounded in a Dothraki Human Resources meeting, he gets some medical malpractice from a witch, and gets an infection. It’s like a really unique Dilbert comics strip…

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: Drogo was always a prop in Daenerys’ story and had to go eventually.  I think I sensed that even at the time.

Mirri Maz Duur

How they went: The witch who killed Drogo was burned alive (Daenerys’ first!) in Drogo’s funeral pyre.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Conflicted

Hot Take: Yeah… I am little conflicted.  You are supposed to hate her because she kills the main character’s unborn child and husband, but…to be fair… Drogo and his men HAD attacked her village, killed her family, and raped her. I’d say she gets a little sympathy…

Season Two

Yoren

How they went:  Yoren died defending Arya and Gendry from the gold cloaks Joffrey sent.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: Sure, he was likable, and I would have liked to have seen more of him, but come on?  He’s a number in Game.  He does get bonus points for giving Arya the idea of making her list.  One of the first names on it was also his killer.

Lommy

How they went:  Poliver killed him with Needle after he takes an injury to the leg in the battle that killed Yoren.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: As the Hound later says, “What the fuck is a Lommy?”

Renly Baratheon

How they went:  The Red Woman summoned a shadow demon with the face of Renly’s brother, Stannis, to kill him in his tent.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: Sure he was a king, but he wasn’t much of one.  I feel like the second GRRM created him, he knew how he was going to die. Renly was a prop in the Game.

The Tickler

How they went:  In a first look at the power of the Faceless Men, Arya orders Jaqaan Hagar to kill him for his horrendous abuses as a torturer.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: His death was more about Arya than him, so that is definitive padding.  She didn’t even know his real name, but apparently Jaqaan accepts nicknames.

Rodrick Cassel

How they went:  Because of his disrespect, Theon sentences him to die and (eventually) beheads him.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: I liked him, but he really didn’t contribute THAT much to the story.  His death is more memorable because of the brutality.

Maester Luwin

How they went:  Stabbed by an Iron Islander, he wanders out to the Godswood where he gets a mercy killing from Osha.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Tragic

Hot Take: He was so kind hearted, and the Stark kids loved him so much, that his death rises a notch above the pack.  His death scene was the best acting of Rickon the entire series…

Qhorin Halfhand

How they went:  To create a cover story for Jon, Halfhand orders Jon to kill him in front of the wildlings.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Noble

Hot Take: His self-sacrifice created a huge opportunity for Jon and the Nights Watch.  Man, he must have hated the Wildlings a lot to give Jon that chance.  I wonder what he would have thought of Jon’s decision to let them cross the Wall?

Season Three

Lord Commander Mormont

How they went:  His own men mutiny against him at Craster’s Keep.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Tragic

Hot Take: He had such gravitas and warmth, that it was so sad to see him go that way.  His death would become even sadder when Tyrion inadvertently informs his son Jorah of the death by speaking of him in the past tense.

Craster

How they went:  He was killed by the mutineers in the same attack that took the Lord Commander.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: Sure, we were happy to see this creepy, creeper die…but would you remember his name if it wasn’t the name of his house?

Rickard Karstark

How they went:  Executed by King Robb for killing Lannister prisoners.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Conflicted

Hot Take: Robb executed him for far less of a crime than what his own mother committed when she freed Jamie lannister.  So, Lord Rickard had a reason to think WTF??? To be honest, Robb was kind of an idiot for doing this.

Ros

How they went:  Littlefinger sent her to Joffrey and let him kill her with his crossbow for betraying his confidences to Varys.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Stunning

Hot Take: I have to admit that I didn’t see that it was her the first time I watched the episode.  I was too busy listening to Littlefinger’s monologue delivered to Varys in the throne room…SPECIFICALLY explaining why he did it.

Ser Berrick Dondarrion

How they went:  Killed by the Hound in Trial by Combat.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Stunning

Hot Take:  A little bit of a cheat, since he came back, but it was stunning to show that resurrection could happen in the GoT universe.

Robb Stark

How they went:  Stabbed by his own bannerman, Roose Bolton, at the Red Wedding.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Stunning

Hot Take: His rating pretty much reflects the impact of the Red Wedding itself.  If Ned’s death was the first big shock, the murders at the wedding of Edmure and a Frey was the second.  This is when we started wondering if the good guys would even win in the end.

Talisa Stark

How they went:  Walder Frey’s son stabs her in her pregnant belly.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: I always felt Talisa was a prop to put a wedge between Robb and his supporters so she never really connected as a character.  The actress who plays her is the granddaughter of Charlie Chaplin…so she’s got that going for her. Which is nice.

Caetlyn Stark

How they went:  A Frey steps forward and slits her throat after she kills Lord Walder’s wife.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Conflicted

Hot Take: It should be either stunning or tragic, especially after she watched her son die moments before, but I really hated her as a character so I was kind of happy to see her go and stay gone (book readers know what I am talking about…)

Season Four

Poliver

How they went:  After the Battle of Two Chickens, Arya executes him in the same manner (using the same words) that Poliver used on Lommy.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: He really was a sadistic prick, but the satisfaction is as much because Arya scratched his name off the list in colorful fashion.

Joffrey Baratheon

How they went:  Poisoned horribly (“a SHOCKING scene!”) at his own wedding by the Queen of Thorns and Littlefinger.

Gabbing Geek Rating: Soooooo Satisfying

Hot Take: By all accounts, Jack Gleeson (who plays Joffrey) is a really nice guy.  So it says something about his craft at acting, which he gave up after this episode because he knew he was typecast, to play the evil king so convincingly.  His death was what everyone was waiting for because of the horrible rap sheet he had built; starting with getting the butcher boy killed on the way home from Winterfell.

Ser Dondas

How they went:  The fool who helped Littlefinger kill Joffrey gets his reward in the form of a crossbolt in the heart.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: Admit it…you didn’t even remember his name…

Carl Tanner

How they went:  Jon Snow shoves Longclaw through the back of his head when he gets distracted in their duel at Crasters Keep.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: I was tempted to give him a score of Padding, but the actor who played him did so with such creepy gusto that I remember giving his death an extra little smile…

Locke

How they went:  Bran wargs into Hodor and uses the simpleton’s brute strength to crush his skull.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: He was sent to kill the Starks, and had already cut off Jamie’s hand, and mistreated Brienne.  Fuck that guy…

Rast

How they went:  Jon’s Direwolf Ghost eats the shit out of him.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: He thought he escaped the justice of the Night’s Watch, but ghost found him.  Ghost ate him.  Ghost needed a bath afterwards.

Lysa Arryn

How they went:  Shoved by her husband Littlefinger through her beloved Moon Door.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: She was evil and creepy.  She plotted with Littlefinger to murder her beloved husband, Jon Arryn.  She seemed to have callously tossed a lot of people through the Moon Door.  It was sweet justice to see her go the same way…

Oberyn Martell

How they went:  After convincingly defeating the Mountain as Tyrion’s champion in trial by combat, the Mountain musters the strength to knock him off his feet and crushes his skull with his bare hands.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Stunning

Hot Take: He had him!  He had won!  But he was not there to just kill the Mountain. Oberyn’s goal was vengeance against the Lannisters and he wanted a confession.  The time he gave the Mountain to recover was fatal and his death was one of the most shocking of the series.

Styr

How they went:  The leader of the Thenns gets a hammer to the head from Jon Snow during the Battle of Castle Black.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: He existed simply to show that Jon was becoming a formidable force.  I had to look his name up and I am guessing most viewers wouldn’t even remember his tribe if they didn’t eat people.

Pyp

How they went:  He died of an arrow, shot by Ygritte, in the Battle of Castle Black.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: He had been around since early in season one, but his death got little fanfare.

Mag and Gren…Gren and Mag

How they went:  Gren took a couple of guys into the tunnel under Castle Black to stop Mag, King of the Giants, from breaching the castle.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Noble

Hot Take: With his men terrified of the charging giant, Gren keeps them at their post by screaming the oath of the Night’s Watch.  Jon and Sam later finds their bodies in the tunnel, but with the giant dead next to them.  Later, when Mance Rayder asks Jon what happened to the giant, Jon recounts the tale; noting Gren was a farmer.  Mance raises a glass “to Mag and Gren.”  Jon returns the toast “to Gren and Mag.”

Ygritte

How they went:  Olly shoots her with an arrow, as Jon watches, during the Battle of Castle Black.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Tragic

Hot Take: This was the show’s Romeo and Juliet.  The chemistry between Ygritte and Jon was so intense, that the actors playing them fell in love and got married!  She was such a rich character and her death, right in front of her star-crossed lover, was gut-wrenching.

Jojen Reed

How they went:  He died at the bony hands of the wights just as his group was arriving to the safety of the Three-Eyed Raven’s cave.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: His sister Meera was much more important to the story, so we really didn’t need him.  His job was to get Bran to the cave.  Once that was done, he was expendable.

Shae

How they went:  After she betrays Tyrion at his trial and sleeps with his father, Tyrion chokes her to death.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: She was the worst actor or actress in the show.  I was happy to see her go, but she was not a dreadful character so there was no glee at her exit.  She was just doing what it took to survive in the Game…

Tywin Lannister

How they went:  He was shot by his son Tyrion as he took a shit.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Stunning

Hot Take: They always said Tywin Lannister shit gold…  This death was big in the series as Tywin was the most powerful man in the kingdom no matter who wore the crown.  Charles Dance had really put his mark on the series; creating a rich character that played the Game better than ANYONE.  Tywin couldn’t possibly have foreseen that one son would free another, and instead of fleeing to safety, that son was so filled with hate that he would come kill him on the toilet.  No matter how well you play, Tywin’s death reminds us, luck and fate play a role in the Game of Thrones.

Season Five

Mance Rayder

How they went:  As Stannis was burning him at the stake, Jon performs a mercy killing by putting an arrow through his heart.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Tragic

Hot Take: Mance was a really amazing character in the series, despite being the face of the enemy on the other side of the Wall.  He wasn’t complicated or ambitious…hell, he didn’t even want to be called a King. He simply wanted to protect ALL the people of the North from the onslaught of the Long Night.

Mossander

How they went:  Even thought he was a loyalist, Daenerys had him executed for killing the Masters she had jailed.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: There were shades of the moral dilemma Robb faced when he executed Lord Karstark. Like Jon, Daenerys chooses justice, but without the helping heaping of hypocrisy that came with Robb’s decision.

Janos Slynt

How they went: After refusing the new Lord Commander’s orders to take command of a distant castle, Jon executes the former head of King’s Landing’s Gold Cloaks.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: This might be my favorite death.  First, because he was a baby killing scumbag, and Gabbing Geek frowns on baby killing.  Second, because it is one of the better written scenes in both the series and books.  Jon had received some advice from Stannis earlier and this decision to be in command really drove it home.  In both the show and the book, Stannis, watching from the balcony of his Castle Black quarters, gives Jon a very slight nod of approval.  One of my favorite moments of the series for some reason.

Ser Barristen Selmy

How they went:  The Sons of the Harpy ambush Grey Worm and the Unsullied on patrol and Selmy dies protecting Grey Worm.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Noble

Hot Take: Selmy was considered one of the best swordsmen in the world and it really showed here.  Even in his later years, he cut through ten or more opponents before falling.  He may have gone, but he took every one of them with him…

Maester Aemon

How they went:  He died happily in his sleep at age 100+.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: His was the only gentle death in the series.  Everyone else died brutally or tragically.  You can call that satisfying since he was one of the few genuinely kind characters in the whole show.

The White Walker at Hardhome

How they went:  Jon learns that Valaryen steel kills White Walkers when he defeats the mini-boss with Longclaw.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: This guy is just a stand-in until we get to the big battle with the Night King.

The Princess Shireen of House Baratheon

How they went:  Her mom and dad burned her alive for some king’s blood.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Tragic

Hot Take: And my kids complain when I take away their cell phones… Jeez!  This was one of the saddest deaths in the show; especially since they intentionally had a few sweet scenes where Stannis was trying to bond with his only child.  Her confusion and realization of his betrayal was haunting…

Hizdahr zo Loraq

How they went:  The self proclaimed King of Qarth is locked in his empty safe after betraying Daenerys.

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: The episode’s ending was more Alfred Hitchcock Presents than Game of Thrones, and his death was every bit as impactful as one of that show’s bit players.

Seleyse Baratheon

How they went:  After she burned her daughter, she MIGHT have been feeling guilty, so she hanged herself in the woods.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: Her support for the Red Woman spread death and religious intolerance throughout Westeros.  Her zealous support led to a sweet little girl, her own daughter, dying horrifically.  She had it coming.

Stannis Baratheon

How they went:  After an overwhelming defeat at the hands of the Boltons, Brienne of Tarth executes him for the murder of his brother, Renly.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: So…Stannis is one of my very favorite characters in the series because of the amazing performance of Stephen Dillane.  Dillane played the fierce warrior Stannis as convincingly as he played philosopher statesman Thomas Jefferson in John Adams.   His death would have probably have been Conflicted before he killed his daughter (he WAS the rightful king over Renly, after all…), but when he did that, we needed to see him get his…

Myranda

How they went:  Theon threw her off the ramparts of Winterfell to keep her from harming Sansa.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: She was a nice side villain, but she was essentially an extension of Ramsey.

Meryn Trant

How they went:  Arya crossed him off her list by impersonating a VERY young prostitute and slitting his throat in a Braavosi brothel…

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: He was an original member of Arya’s list because he killed her teacher, Sirio.  Then, under Joffrey’s command, he beat Sansa many times. That along with his mistreatment of underage prostitutes, really had us cheering for his brutal death.

Myrcella Baratheon

How they went:  She was poisoned by Ellaria Sand with the Long Death.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Tragic

Hot Take: She was not a very central character, but she was a sweet, innocent girl who only followed her instructions to marry a distant prince.  Having her die right after a warm reunion with a reforming Jamie was even crueler…

Jon Snow

How they went:  Tricked by his steward Olly, Jon came into the yard and was stabbed by his own men for his policies on the Wildlings.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Stunning, Tragic, annnnnddddd GRRM Padding His Stats?

Hot Take: FOR THE WATCH!  Sure…sure…he would get the Jesus treatment a few episodes later, but for six months there, we wondered if another popular character was gone.

Season Six

Areo Hoetah

How they went:  Ellaria Sand stabbed him during her Palace coup.

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: The Martell guardian was a MUCH bigger character in the books, but here he was most memorable for elbowing Bronn in the mouth; requiring him to change his lunch order from pie to soup.

Doran Martell

How they went: Ellaria Sand stabbed him during her Palace coup.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: He played second fiddle to his younger brother, The Red Viper.  His death was really not much of anything.

Trystan Martell

How they went:  Stabbed in the back by his cousin on a ship headed to King’s Landing.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: He was even more of a nothing than his father.

Roose Bolton

How they went:  Stabbed in the heart by his own son, Ramsey.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: If he had died earlier in the series, it might have been satisfying.  He did villainously betray his King at the Red Wedding.  But by Season Six, he was really just another schemer.

Walda and Baby Bolton

How they went:  Fed to the hounds by Ramsey.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: It was pretty horrifying, but they weren’t big characters.

Balon Greyjoy

How they went:  He was thrown off a rope bridge on Pyke by his brother, Euron.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: He was the least impactful of the five kings, but he did last the longest. So I guess technically did he win the War of the Five Kings?

Gerold Hightower and Arthur Dayne

How they went:  In a flashback, they are killed by a band of knights led by Ned Stark.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: It deserves noting because of the amazing sword work of Dayne.  Hightower dies early, but Dayne (know as the Sword of the Morning…the greatest warrior in Westeros history) carves the rest of the knights down until it is just him and Ned.  He would have thumped Ned except Howland Reed, Meera’s father, stabbed him in the back.

Ser Allister Thorne and the leaders of the revolt against Jon

How they went:  Jon hung them as traitors in the yard.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying for Thorne…GRRM Padding His Stats for the others

Hot Take: I liked Thorne as a minor villain, so it was nice to see the smarmy bastard swing. I will say he didn’t try to hide his actions.  He believed he did right.  But he stabbed the rightful leader in the heart and had this coming.

Olly

How they went:  Died along with Allister and the others on the gallows.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Tragic

Hot Take: I know he betrayed Jon, but I feel sorry for him.  He was a little kid whose parents were murdered by so-called “heroes” Tourmond and Ygritte.  He had every right to hate them and question them being brought into safety.  Jon clearly didn’t hang everyone who participated in the attack so he should have pardoned Olly.

Osha

How they went:  Ramsey kills her before she can kill him.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: Osha had disappeared for a while, protecting Rickon, and like the youngest Stark, no one noticed she was gone.

Moro and 9 other Khals

How they went:  Daenerys locked them in the Khalasar hut and burned them alive.

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: This was a cool way to show Daenerys was back on her game and to give her another army to help her take back the Iron Throne.

Hodor

How they went:  Died at the hands of the dead as allowed Bran and Meera to escape.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Noble

Hot Take: HOLD THE DOOR!  One of the best episodes of the series.  The simpleton, played for laughs the whole series, showed that he was the victim of Bran’s warging and still sacrificed himself to save his friend.

The Three Eyed Raven

How they went:  Killed by the wights after Bran comprised his defenses.

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: He was always supposed to give way to Bran, so even though he was played by Max Von Sidow, he was a padder…

Leaf

How they went:  She sacrificed herself to the dead to allow Bran and Meera to escape.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: She kinda had this coming since she was the one who created the Night King. You live by thye dragonglass dagger, you die by the dragonglass dagger…

Brother Ray

How they went:  Hung by a rogue sect of the Brotherhood Without Banners.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: They brought in excellent TV actor Ian McShane just to die.  One of the better stat padding deaths, because it really enhanced The Hound’s redemption arc.

Lady Crane

How they went:  Killed by the Waif.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: I enjoyed her arc, but it was ok that she went.

The Waif

How they went:  Arya lured her into room and killed her with Needle.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take:  Clayton always called her the Queef.  That’s how much we hated her.  One of the more satisfying deaths.

The Blackfish

How they went:  Killed offscreen by a normal foot solider.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: He was a funny character who survived the Red Wedding simply because he had to take a leak.

Slavers Belicho Paenymion and Razdal mo Eraz

How they went:  Greyworm cut their throat during a negotiation

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: I had to look up their names.  They really symbolized slavery and oppression, so they weren’t even real characters.

Rickon Stark

How they went:  Hit by Ramsey’s arrow because he neither zigged, nor zagged.

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: A Stark, the true heir to Winterfell at the time, is Padding?    That’s how inconsequential Rickon was.

Smalljon Umber

How they went:  Killed by Tourmound during battle.

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: He deserved to die after betraying Rickon to Ramsey, but he is just another dead solider in the Battle of the Bastards.

Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun

How they went:  After breaching the gates at Winterfell, he takes an arrow to the eye from Ramsey’s bow.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Noble

Hot Take: He was amazing to watch in the battle. The show really showed what a destructive force he was.  As the last of his kind, it was even more noteworthy.

Ramsay Bolton

How they went:  Fed to his own dogs by Sansa.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: Probably second only to Joffrey in the “satisfying” depth chart.  He was disgustingly evil and cruel, so when Sansa matched cruelty with cruelty, we all cheered.  You live by the starving dog, you die by the starving dog.  Wait…I already used that joke…

Grand Maester Pycelle

How they went:  Stabbed to death by Qyburn’s little birds.

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: He was a toady but he wasn’t really evil.  His death wasn’t satisfying, but it was noteworthy because he had been in the series for years.  Sadly, his death did come across as background noise because he died in the deadliest episode of the series.

Lancel Lannister

How they went:  He died when the wildfire ignited and blew up the Great Sept

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: Kudos to the actor who played Lancel Lannister; he played a whinny brat early in the show and militant cult leader later.  That said, I didn’t care enough to look up the actor’s real name because he was a stat padder.

High Sparrow

How they went: He died when the wildfire ignited and blew up the Great Sept

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: I love Jonathan Pryce, but I was REALLY ready for the Sparrow story arc to be over.  His death effectively ended the second worst storyline in the show.

Margaery Tyrell

How they went: She died when the wildfire ignited and blew up the Great Sept.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Tragic

Hot Take: Tyrell came across as a player of the Game, but she was a decent person.  She didn’t deserve to die at Cersei’s hands.  She did nothing but marry her son as commanded.

Loras Tyrell

How they went: He died when the wildfire ignited and blew up the Great Sept

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: He died to play Iron Fist.  That is the most pointless death of them all…

Mace Tyrell

How they went: He died when the wildfire ignited and blew up the Great Sept

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: His own mother thought he was a fool.  That said, he was a charming old fool…

Kevan Lannister

How they went: He died when the wildfire ignited and blew up the Great Sept

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: All of Cersei’s enemies had to go and Uncle Kevan had gotten in her way…

Tommen Baratheon

How they went:  After seeing what his mother had done, he jumped out of a window

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: By the time he died in that brutal episode, I was numb…

Walder Frey (and for that matter…House Frey)

How they went:  Arya fed Walder his sons in a pie (like the old Rat King myth) and then slit his throat.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: Arya avenged the Red Wedding and left a daughter alive to tell people to remember what happened when winter came from House Frey.  At the beginning of the next season, she would take Walder’s face and kill the whole of House Frey with poison; saying their mistake was not killing EVERY Stark.  Does that mean she planned to kill all the male kids…even the babies?

Season Seven

The Sand Snakes

How they went:  Two were killed in a naval battle with Euron Greyjoy; the third was given the same poison as Myrcella.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: They were sooooooooo bad. Worst plotline in the series.  I have a long story about it I could tell you…

 Ellaria Sand

How they went:  Presumably dead after she watched her daughter’s dead body

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: She really was a rotten character.  She unnecessarily led Dorne into war.  She killed their rightful prince for…making sound diplomatic decisions.  She poisoned an innocent girl after her own lover said Dorne doesn’t kill innocent girls.  She had it coming and Cersei served it up well…

Olenna Tyrell

How they went:  She drank poison wine as a form of execution after Jamie defeated her armies.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Fucking Badass

Hot Take: That’s right.  She gets her own category.  Just for her.  Her death was the best moment of the series.  One of the best moments in TV history.  Knowing she is going to die, she gives Jamie “one last prick in the balls.”  Her monologue where she reveals she killed Joffrey is baller.  “Must have been horrible for you as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me. A shocking scene. Not at all what I intended. You see, I had never seen the poison work before…. Tell Cersei…. I want her to know it was me.”  Drops the mic.

Randyll Tarly

How they went:  Executed by dragonfire on order of Daenerys

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: Sam’s dad got a taste of Daenerys’ love for burning people alive.  How’s THAT for “hot” take?

Dickon Tarly

How they went: Executed by dragonfire on order of Daenerys

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: Was his name Rickon?  No?  Oh…it was Dickon…

Thoros of Myr

How they went:  Died from wounds by a zombie polar bear. Take THAT Lost!

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: About the only thing interesting about this was that Beric Dondarrion can no longer come back to life. Since Beric Dondarrion’s death wouldn’t be that much more interesting, we have some serious stat padding.

Viserion

How they went:  Killed with some serious spear throwing by the Night King.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Stunning

Hot Take: I think we all knew there would be an ice dragon.  But, seeing it happen?  WHOA!

Benjen Stark

How they went:  He died fighting the dead to spare Jon.

Gabbing Geek Rating: GRRM Padding His Stats

Hot Take: He hadn’t appeared since early in the first season.  He had been gone so long that many people didn’t remember him when Olly used his “return” to lure Jon into the assassination.  Not a big deal when he died.

Littlefinger

How they went:  Executed by Arya when she slit his throat.

Gabbing Geek Rating:  Satisfying

Hot Take: Littlefinger had schemed so much and wreaked so much chaos.  He finally fell off that ladder and the landing hurt.  As Jenny says, you don’t come back from a throat cut!  His ego and ambition led to the death of Ned, the War of the Five Kings, and so many other innocents suffering as a result.  He slimed his way out of harm for years, but there was no escaping justice in the finale of the seventh season.

Who will die in Season 8?  The Geeks did a death draft to predict who we think will go as the show concludes.  Check Gabbing Geek for all the latest as the season progresses!

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