Vikings “The Lost Moment”

There’s a moment in this episode when Hvitserk goes to see the Eyeless Seer Dude and says he doesn’t know why he’s there.

I’m pretty sure everyone feels that way, Hvitserk.

But first, I was wrong when I wrote up the previous episode.  Ivar is not sacrificing the Seer.  That was just some confusion on my part when they didn’t quite show who was being sacrificed and the previews for this episode showed the Seer lying on his back in pain.

Nope, Ivar is sacrificing some blonde woman he claims is Lagertha.  Yes, there are people in the crowd who know it isn’t really Lagertha.    They get shut up.  Don’t rain on Ivar’s godhood parade, people.  Hvitserk is the only one who can do that and live because no one knows why he’s there, not even Hvitserk or his new girlfriend.  That means a trip to the Seer, who does seem to be dying, but the Seer says Hvitserk will have to pay a high price.  Ivar sees the Seer later to gloat, but you can’t fool the Seer.  He tells Ivar his whole route is strewn with garbage.  And for that, Ivar buries his axe in the skull of the Seer, who at this point was probably about 245 years old.

Don’t worry.  Someone else might be the new Seer as That Asshole Floki uses his own Asshole Vision powers to solve the murder of a pregnant woman who had disappeared over on Asshole Island.  Yeah, it’s probably Iceland, but the Floki plot doesn’t seem to be going anywhere in connection to everything else, so I’m just going to call as much as possible associated with it an “asshole” type of thing.

Over in Wessex, Alfred has asked Ubbe for combat lessons which mostly involves ducking and a new haircut.  Bjorn believes Magnus is his lost brother and is interested in possible revenge.  The rest of his family doubts Ragnar did anything with Queen Crazypants because, well, he didn’t do anything with Queen Crazypants.  But they’ll all be fighting when Lagertha isn’t using her mystic vagina to screw Heahmund…seriously, everyone that isn’t one of Ragnar’s sons seems to want a piece of that…and yes, Alfred’s brother was plotting against him because this is Vikings and we might have otherwise gone two episodes without one brother plotting against another.  Alfred’s brother with the long Saxon name calls it off though when the plan involves a locked door, a lot of knives, and other unsavory actions after Alfred reminds his brother how much he cares.

And all this as Harald comes with a new army…

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: