American Horror Story “Bitchcraft”

OK, how long was Ryan Murphy waiting to pull out that episode title?

Yes, we’re back with more purportedly scary stuff as we see some witches.

What’s up with the witches?  Well, it seems that witches are born, not made, and when they reach a certain age, they gain certain magical powers.  Sometimes it skips a generation and they all seem to be women, but once their powers surface, they get sent off to a special school and…holy crap, they’re the X-Men!

Anyway, we have the usual bunch of actors back starting with Jessica Lange as the Supreme witch Fiona Goode, who wanted the secret to youth from a scientist and when she didn’t get it appeared to suck the life out of him, so why does she need the eternal youth?  Anyway, the Supreme is the once-a-generation witch who has, like, all the powers.  Most witches get one.  And sure enough, Fiona breezes into Miss Robichaux’s School for Gifted Youngsters in New Orleans to take charge from the younger witch who runs the place.  That would be Cordelia Foxx (Sarah Paulson), and her young charges include the clairvoyant Nan (Jamie Brewer), human voodoo doll Queenie (Gabourey Sidbe), and former movie star and telekenetic Madison Montgomery (Emma Roberts).  The main character is a new arrival, Zoe Benson (Taissa Farmiga), who kills men when she has sex with them.  She doesn’t want to.  It just happened to her boyfriend, and some hippie witch (Frances Conroy) showed up immediately and shipped Zoe off to the school.

Meanwhile, Evan Peters is what appears to be a good-hearted frat boy.  Zoe takes a liking to him, but then his frat brothers gang rape Madison at a party.  Peters’ Kyle tries to stop them, but they knock him and out and rush off in their bus…which Madison crashes using her powers, killing most of them.  Zoe is a bit upset to learn Evan wasn’t among the survivors at a local hospital with zero security, but she does see one of the rapists on life support and sexes him to death.

As for Fiona, well, she doesn’t like the witches hiding their powers, so she wants them to go out and do stuff.  Also, she digs up Madame LaLaurie (Kathy Bates), who was buried alive for over a century in the backyard after pissing off voodoo priestess Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett).  I’ve been to New Orleans, and I did hear the story of the real Mme LaLaurie while I was there.  It does involve the slave mutilation mentioned in the episode, but the other details were…different.  And some of them may just be urban legend.  But that’s that.

So, we’re off to another smorgasbord of stuff that may or may not be scary.

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