Simpsons Did It!: “Baby You Can’t Drive My Car”

So, Tracy Morgan did another guest voice for this episode.  Apparently, he was a tow truck driver, but I had to look that one up.

But what really happened here?  Well, we start off with Homer buying theoretically chicken-based nuggets from the Krustyburger because he can eat and dip them off his dashboard while driving…you know, when he isn’t plowing through a parade or something.  But yeah, he gets it wrong and somehow flips his car through the window into Mr. Burns’ office, destroying the old man’s priceless Faberge chicken.  That gets Homer fired, and he retaliates by telling Mr. Burns the old man is a short piece of garbage.  Burns is bothered by the “short” part.

Now, Homer has been unemployed before.  So much so that Marge recognizes his routine of lying on the couch, going to Moe’s, not doing much, and eventually getting hooked on late night Korean soap operas, though that last one might be a bit new.  The thing is, Homer has tried for a job from everywhere and no one would hire him, not even Lisa at her lemonade stand since he drank half the inventory and the profits were intended for the National Endowment for the Arts.  That was more or less the highlight in this episode for any of the kids, so I won’t be mentioning them again.

But then Homer sees a news report about a new self-driving car dealership that will be hiring six to eight people, and if he can sit still for long periods of time, he’s in.

He sure can!

Heck, his bad driving record that includes somehow running himself over actually helps.

He sits so still for the last test, he barely notices the goat sacrifice gone wrong right in front of him as he sat in the dealership for a full night.

As it is, the job is easy, and Homer can do whatever he wants while the car drives around.

And it gets even better.  When Marge comes to get him, he finds out the food in the cafeteria is free, and there’s a lot of it.  The job site also has a lot of fun stuff to play with, and he and Marge quickly organize a foosball game with themselves and the programmers.  That actually alerts the higher ups that creativity levels spiked when the programmers were having fun, so they offered Homer a promotion and Marge a job to be the fun coordinators.  And they’re both so good at it that Homer’s fun at work starts attracting all his old co-workers from the Power Plant to come work for the CarGo company (actual in-episode name), leaving the Plant deserted aside from Burns and Smithers, and heck, even those two get hired when they go undercover at the CarGo company.

Because a Nuclear Power Plant does not need people actually monitoring it or running anything.

So, this all sounds good, right?  Well, maybe not.  See, Homer and Marge are going home, suggesting a superhero dress-up day as they sit in their self-driving car, and Homer says something about that could make for a hero sandwich, and instead of driving the Simpsons home, the car takes them to a hero sandwich shop.  That’s odd.  Homer thinks he’s on to something and says he could go for a doughnut.  The car drives to the doughnut shop.  Homer says he could eat a horse.  The car drives to the Krustyburger (ew).  Homer shouts, “Holy crap!” and the car drives next to the window for the church’s bathroom apparently.  Reverend Lovejoy should really keep that window closed.  Worried about more monkeyshines gets the Simpsons driven to a monkey rental store.

I suddenly want to rent a monkey, too.

What gives?  Well, as Homer and Marge learn, CarGo doesn’t sell self-driving cars.  Like every other computer-based store, they sell user data, and the cars just collect the stuff.

Homer finds this disturbing.  Marge, not so much since the job brought her and Homer together in a fun new way.

As it is, Homer teams up with Burns and Smithers to sabotage the cars through the mainframe.  Homer has a key that doesn’t open the door to the mainframe.  He has one for the nerf armory.  The mainframe room is through an unlocked door there, and Smithers knows how to reprogram the cars.  Marge almost stops them with a nerf rocket launcher, but she changes her mind when she overhears the executives discussing putting the data collectors in the key fobs instead of the cars, and those get carried everywhere.

So, yeah, Marge even helps by shooting the final button with her nerf gun to avoid fingerprints, the cars break down, and Homer asks Mr. Burns if the old man would hire himself and Marge to work at the plant.  Burns won’t hire a woman.  That’s probably a good thing for both Marge and Homer.  Likewise, Burns remembers Homer calling him a short piece of garbage, and he won’t rehire Homer because of that insult until Marge also hits him with the nerf gun, causing Burns to forget Homer’s insult.

So, status quo reset again!

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