You know, American Horror Story may not be particularly scary, but it sure does have campy sewed up.
Oh, and it sure knows how to bring out a cool guest star. I mean, we got Frances Conroy and Ian McShane back for this one, and one more from the infamous…MURDER HOUSE.
Yeah, it’s Dylan McDermott, but he’s not a victim this time!
So, yeah, good news for fans of Psycho Santa…he lived!
And bad news for Sister Jude…she’s in the asylum now as a patient. That’s what happens when a bunch of people come out to say she is a horrible person (to be fair, she mostly is), but even more claim she murdered the dead guard. Who makes those claims? Dr. Arden? OK, I can see that working. Monsignor Tim and Sister Mary? Well, hardly anyone knows she’s possessed, and he is a priest, so yeah, that makes sense. The Mother Superior? Well, sure, and I guess Sister Jude made plenty of enemies. And then they talked to Psycho Santa…
Why is Psycho Santa being consulted? The man bit an orderly’s face off in front of the press. He’s not the kind of guy with an upstanding reputation that makes a good character witness.
Anyhoo, Sister Jude is now a patient, and Psycho Santa, well, he gets baptized by Father Tim…only to then turn on Father Tim, try to drown him, actually crucify him, and bring the Angel of Death over for a visit. So, that’s two cool guest stars.
Sister Jude may see the error of her ways and tries to make nice with Lana. Lana just found out she’s pregnant from Thredson, and she and Kit hatch a plan to exonerate Kit: somehow get Thredson to confess to the Bloody Face crimes, and with a recording stashed away, Kit goes free and Lana can maybe murder Thredson. That’s easy enough, except for everything. Oh sure, Lana says she aborted the baby with a coat hanger, but when she comes back later to finish off the head doctor with a messed up head, he got loose at some point and oh yeah, Sister Mary can tell Lana the coat hanger didn’t work and it’s a boy.
Cut to the present and we see McDermott as one Johnny Morgan. He found out he’s the son of Thredson and presumably Lana, and he wants to get a hypnotherapist to do her thing so he can stop his compulsions. Not the ones to be the inferior sequel to Bloody Face. No, he wants to keep that. He wants to go to med school so he can get the skinning right. And yes, he practices on the therapist and probably the next patient who showed up later.
But everything is on tape, right? Well, probably. But Arden has a theory about the aliens (yes, they’re still a thing here), and he figures it must be a eugenics experiment if Kit had some fun with both his missing wife Alma and the missing corpse Grace. Since Grace disappeared when she died, Arden figures the same will happen to Kit if Kit almost dies. Does Arden revive Kit? He never gets the chance. Kit disappears in the light show that is the aliens, and Grace came back, very pregnant and very naked, with the microcephalic Pepper. Pepper says she’s on the case. I believe her.
Well, I’d believe her more than I would Psycho Santa, that’s for damn sure.