How many ghosts are there in the Murder House anyway?
And why hasn’t anyone put a lock on the door yet?
So, anyhoo, back in 1947, a struggling actress name Elizabeth Short–hey, its Mena Suvari!–came to the house when a dentist worked there. She offered sex in lieu of payment, and he gassed her before going to work on her teeth.
He also had sex with her while she was unconscious. And he gave her too much anesthetic, so she died. What does this bad Dr. Teeth do next? Drags the body to the basement where he panics, but hey, Dr. Montgomery is down there…yes, he’s a ghost but the dentist doesn’t seem to be too surprised by this–and then Montgomery offers to take care of the corpse by heavily mutilating it.
Yes, it was the Black Dahlia case.
Yes, she’s in the house too.
But for now, let’s look at the ghost I should call Captain Bringdown, AKA Hayden. She stays busy.
First, her sister and a detective show up, suspecting Ben of foul play in the disappearance of Hayden. And then she showed up.
OK, not really. She’s still trying to get somewhere with Ben. She even seduces Constance’s much younger boyfriend to make sure she could still have sex with a living person.
So, when Ben learns that Vivien is carrying twins by two different fathers, Hayden blames Luke the Security Guy. He claims he’s shooting blanks. It’s fine. The other father is Tate as the Rubber Man. Constance figures that out and decides she’s going to adopt Tate’s kid. Her boyfriend isn’t all that interested in being a father so soon, and when he goes back to Hayden for some sex, well, she kills him. He doesn’t seem too upset, and hey, Elizabeth Short and Dr. Montgomery sure do know how to make a dead person famous.
Yeah, that was something else Hayden did: tell Elizabeth she was dead, but Elizabeth just wanted to be famous, and being the Black Dahlia made her famous, so…happy ending?
Oh, yeah, Hayden also calls in a favor to get Burnt Larry to dispose of the boyfriend’s body.
But what else happens? Well, Ben won’t succumb to Young Moira’s charms, even when she’s making out with Elizabeth, and he does tell off Vivien for his mistaken opinion that she’s as rotten a cheater as he is. But then he thinks about it and starts to think there’s something not right about the House.
And that’s when he finally sees Moira as an old woman.
About damn time…