American Horror Story “Open House”

Man, it seems like just anyone can just walk into the Murder House whenever they want…

So, here we are in 1994, and we get…the origin of Burnt Larry!  Yes, we learn over the course of the episode that Burnt Larry lied when we first saw him.  He didn’t torch the house and kill his family.  He did suffocate a deformed child in the attic.  It was Constance’s kid.  Why?  He was in love with her, and when he asked his wife to move out with her daughters because he was smitten with Constance, Burnt Larry’s wife responded by setting herself and the kids on fire.  Burnt Larry didn’t do that.

Ben knew a lot of that when he confronted Burnt Larry later.  The Constance part was new, and he was a bit baffled by it.

So, what did we learn this episode…

Vivien is having twins and fantasizing about sex with the only security guard at her security company, or Ben, or the Rubber Man.  Sheesh, the Rubber Man…

Tate knows there are ghosts in the house who will go away if you tell them to.  He still doesn’t know he’s a ghost, but he did find some old photographs in the attic.

The aforementioned open house attracts two possible buyers.  One is a rich Armenian who thinks Young Moira is hot.  The other is Burnt Larry.  Young Moira likes the Armenian because he plans to knock down the house and maybe build a pool where the gazebo is.  That would free her spirit, so she gives him some oral sex.

But Ben tells Larry about the house demolition because creepy developer guy has money and Burnt Larry doesn’t, and Burnt Larry just wants to be near Constance.  Why?  I don’t know.  Love is blind.

Burnt Larry tells Constance.

Constance tries to talk to sleazy developer guy.

He does not react well.

Constance wants the house to remain standing since, you know, two of her kids are ghosts in there.  So, she tells Moira the pool ain’t happening and she might be stuck in condos for the rest of existence.  That means Moira invites sleazeball over for more fun times in the basement, and you know how that’s going to end when he asks her to use less of her teeth.

Plus, Burnt Larry mostly suffocates him.  Constance just wants him to die off-property.

But hey, Vivien and the awful realtor took the murder tour and learned that Dr. Montgomery did successfully Frankenstein his dead baby boy back to life, but it wanted blood instead of milk from Nora.  That led Nora to do the ol’ murder-suicide on herself and her husband.

And then Violet shows her mom those old pictures from the attic.  And there’s Nora.  And then Vivien realizes she met that woman before…


Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

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