Tom and Jimmy have accepted the mission of rewatching the Mission: Impossible films prior to the release of Mission: Impossible Fallout. Actually in Tom’s case, he is enjoying them all outside of the first film for the first time. Let’s see what the two amigos thought of Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol.
tomk: Mission: Impossible 4get The Numbering So I Hope Ghost Protocol Is Next Since That Is The One I Am Watching
Well, I guess Tom Wilkinson isn’t the traitor this time around.
Didn’t Dom and and Brian drive a car out of this Dubai building?
I know I used the Family Guy “gay thoughts” clip last time, but can I pretend the sandstorm is the gay thoughts?
OK, so far I liked this one the most.
tomk: It had a different sort of plot this time in that no one was a secret traitor. We had a secret badass instead.
And that just means I can continue to pretend Jeremy Renner is just playing Hawkeye in every movie he’s in.
That was fun for Tag.
jimmy: I haven’t seen Tag. But Renner always seems to be the same character.
tomk: I am fine with that.
jimmy: He plays it well.
tomk: Better than Cruise.
jimmy: Cruise plays Hunt well.
tomk: Well enough. Hunt is still a generic good guy character.
jimmy: He’s got some depth now, with the whole wife thing.
tomk: The wife he can never see other than from afar?
Aladdin 2: Return Of Afar
jimmy: He loved her so much he had to let her go to protect her…and screw with Hawkeye’s head.
tomk: Ironically, that’s how Hawkeye met his own wife by screwing with Black Widow’s head.
jimmy: I think I’ve mentioned that this was my favorite of the series so far. I had a couple of minor gripes with it. One, I never for one second believed that that “old guy” was ever any threat to Ethan. Especially physically. Two, I know they were using an old abandoned stash, but every single piece of tech malfunctioning stretched belief a bit.
tomk: I dunno. I liked the idea the tech didn’t work so they wouldn’t rely on stuff like the Scooby Doo mask.
jimmy: That’s fine…but EVERYTHING?
The phone doesn’t self destruct…and now the mask maker is broken…and the gloves aren’t working right…
tomk: Stupid budget cuts…
jimmy: I agree that it worked well for driving the action and avoiding Mask Armageddon like part II, but as a whole I thought it was a bit much.
And speaking of the masks…why did the old guy go himself to the meet disguised as his own henchmen?
tomk: He couldn’t fit into the woman assassin’s shoes?
jimmy: It just seemed to be a silly plot point. The fact that he gets away in the end, it doesn’t matter if it is the old guy or his henchman.
And we don’t even know it is him until the last second.
tomk: It did seem to suggest there was some sort of anti-IMF out there. That could be cool.
jimmy: No comment…
Possible Mission Force
tomk: Well, who else has Scooby mask technology?
Is it as common as Pym Particles in this universe?
jimmy: Yes, but the creators are not as cranky about others using it.
tomk: Given the way this agency goes through supervisors for Ethan, I’m not too sure about that.
Then again, this is a world where a bomb going off in the Kremlin might be an act of war, but murdering an American Cabinet secretary in the street isn’t.
jimmy: Good segue to my next question. So when Ethan is in the car with Hawkeye and the Senator (or whoever he was)…the Russian police just start shootings the hell out of the car and then at them in the water?
I know Ethan is a suspected terrorist, but they make no attempt to arrest him and kill innocents in the process?
tomk: Forget innocents. Diplomatic immunity for foreign government officials is still a thing.
And Ethan addressed that guy as “Mr. Secretary.” That wasn’t just some member of Congress. He could have been Secretary of State or Defense or something. That puts him in line for the presidency in case something goes really wrong.
jimmy: He’s not in line for anything now.
tomk: Maybe a posthumous Medal Of Freedom.
But how cool was that sandstorm?
jimmy: It probably wasn’t very cool at all. You’ve still got a lot to learn about climates.
tomk: Or you have a lot to learn about metaphorical language.
jimmy: Heh. But yeah, it was…cool.
tomk: You try tracking an old man in a sandstorm with a faulty GPS and see how well you do.
jimmy: I would guess…not well.
tomk: Then again, you might be able to fight him better.
Of course, Cruise ain’t no spring chicken, so maybe the old guy could put up a good fight after all.
jimmy: I still didn’t buy it. At least in that scene we thought it was the henchmen (and there wasn’t much hand to hand there anyway), but in the finale, he holds up to Cruise way too well. Maybe I underestimate old guys.
BTW, how cool was that car port?
tomk: You mean a sign of extreme extraneous wealth in India? Nah, I don’t see that as a real thing.
jimmy: That can only lead to getting your ass kicked while showing off your art collection.
tomk: Some guys have it coming.
That could be a Watson joke if I am not careful.
jimmy: Watson’s a joke, yes.
tomk: Touche, Herr Impossible.
jimmy: I liked that Luther made fun of Ethan for yelling “Mission accomplished!”
tomk: Luther should yell at more people.
jimmy: It was cool that they got Luther and Ethan’s wife in there, since they never had a role throughout.
jimmy: Metaphorically cool of course.
tomk: Maybe next time, Michelle Monaghan can have a line.
tomk: Once again, Jimmy plays coy.
tomk: Does it say anything that neither of us seem to know the name of Ethan’s wife off the tops of our collective heads?
jimmy: I can name Ethan, Benji, Hawkeye…uh…the token ass kicking female we never see again. And that’s about it.
tomk: It’s like the token commanding officer who often betrays Ethan. We can name the actor, but not the character.
Next time, I start nicknaming them.
jimmy: Oh…and The Guy From Lost!
tomk: And the kickass woman was named the kickass name…Jane.
Jane is my mother’s name. She does kick ass.
jimmy: Indeed. At least she’s not Martha.
tomk: She was in love with Short-Haired Sawyer.
And then had to kick Barbie Hitwoman out a window.
See, nicknaming is easy!
jimmy: Barbie Hitwoman. Nice.
tomk: She would only accept payment in diamonds like some sort of Bond villain.
jimmy: Well, they are a girl’s best friend forever. Or something.
tomk: If ScarJo says it, it must be true. Or not.
Say, can we let Black Widow join the IMF?
jimmy: Yes please.
tomk: I am not sure how the Russian guy found him a couple times. It made sense when he arranged for the guy to find him at the end, but how did he find Ethan in Dubai?
jimmy: Dubai was the meet wasn’t it?
tomk: Yes, but it’s a big city. Heck, it was a big building. Surely there are a lot of people there.
jimmy: Oh, the Russian guy…
tomk: Yes, the Russian guy.
jimmy: Yeah, he just showed up when it was convenient. At least at the end Ethan/gun seller had tipped him off.
tomk: Russian guy, that guy never knew when to quit. It’s like he was some sort of non-giving-up-spy-guy.
jimmy: Did Braveheart give up? Did Payback give up?
tomk: Um, didn’t Braveheart give up at the end of that movie?
jimmy: I’m trying my best here.
tomk: Like Brad Bird did? The opening credits alone were fantastic.
jimmy: Why is he not a bigger star?
tomk: Because Tomorrowland bombed and animation directors get less respect than the late Rodney Dangerfield?
jimmy: Tomorrowland wasn’t horrible, but didn’t do well at the box office. I get that. Hardly seems like a career killer though. What has he done since Tomorrowland?
tomk: Incredibles 2.
jimmy: Is that everything?
tomk: I’d have to check.
jimmy: Either way, he nailed this one.
tomk: And this might have been his first live action film.
jimmy: I think so…but I’d have to look it up.
tomk: I’m too lazy for that right now.
jimmy: Me too. We’ll say it was and it was a fantastic debut.
tomk: So fantastic it didn’t go into space. Or it did.
jimmy: Hovering by magnet suit might count.
tomk: Or following a nuke into orbit.
jimmy: CGI camera fly by’s don’t count.
tomk: [By that standard, no one goes into space.
Take that, The Right Stuff and Apollo 13!
tomk: So, yeah, this was a damn good action movie. It’s not as good as Die Hard or The Raid, but it was really good stuff.
jimmy: I guess The Raid is something I should watch.
tomk: Yes. Yes, you should.
jimmy: How are you feeling about Ethan now? Still just 2D generic action hero?
tomk: Oh yeah. Part of that for me is a general apathy towards Tom Cruise.
jimmy: Well, at least he isn’t deterring you from watching these.
tomk: True. And I said apathy not antipathy.
tomk: So, we ready to rate this one?
jimmy: It looks that way.
tomk: In that case, I will say 9 out of 10 skyscraper ascents.
jimmy: I want to go 9.5 as I liked it more than III, but that seems high. So I’ll go 9 faulty mask makers out of 10.
tomk: So, one left before the new one?
jimmy: That is correct. I felt the next, while still good, ticked down a bit without Bird. But we’ll see what you think.
Maybe Watson and lover of the series Ryan will show up to discuss. I’m going to commence Cruise inspired breath holding now…
tomk: Yeah, those guys. I know Watson is in another hemisphere, but I don’t know where everybody else is.
jimmy: Probably lost in that sandstorm in Dubai.