Slightly Misplaced Comic Book Heroes Case File #180: The Flaming Carrot

So, I was working on a theme for the time being of more silly or comedic superteams and after the last two weeks was looking to write up the Mystery Men.  Those guys got a movie with something of a cult following.

But then I realized you can’t really explain the comic book version of that bunch without explaining the Flaming Carrot first.  Creator Bob Burden, who co-wrote the story for the cinematic Mystery Men, may have only left the Carrot off the team because he actually forgot about him.

So, yeah, he’s really misplaced.

Who was the Flaming Carrot?  Well, he doesn’t seem to have a real name, but his origin says that after reading 5,000 comic books in a single sitting, his mind snapped and he decided to become a superhero himself.

Did he have superpowers?  Not really.

He was just really, really weird.

He fashioned a mask for himself that was almost bigger than he was in the form of a giant carrot.  The stalk at the top was always on fire, hence the name.  He wore swim fins on his feet in case he had to swim, and he had a utility belt filled with stuff that might generally be considered useless to anyone who isn’t the Flaming Carrot.  Inside his mask was an atomic-powered pogo stick that he used to travel long distance.  The closest he had to a superpower was “Zen Stupidity” to allow him to do everything boldly and without fear.

He also carried a 9mm handgun and killed his enemies on a routine basis.

The Flaming Carrot also had a catchphrase, sort of.  It was “Ut!”  That was something Burden heard George Harrison say when a groupie got through to the Beetles during their Shea Stadium show.  It was just meant to be silly.

“Silly” is the right word to describe the Flaming Carrot.  The character went through multiple publishers and had surreal adventures that included dying from falling into toxic waste, being brought back, recounting a trip to Limbo, and then getting even with the guys who killed him in the first place.

The Carrot did put together a superteam…or maybe a gang depending on who you ask.  These were the Mystery Men, the guys who got the call when other, big name superhero teams were too busy to help out.  They were pathetic heroes with lame powers or antisocial behaviors that made them the right fit for working with the Flaming Carrot but not anyone else.

So, yeah, the Flaming Carrot.  They may not get any screwier than that.

But if I find one that does, I’ll let ya know.

tomk74

Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

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