Simpsons Did It!: “King Leer”

So, Moe has relatives.

Yes, Moe has a family.  Should we be surprised?  Well, Homer is when he goes to Moe’s after an unrelated opening sequence where Bart selects a violin as his musical instrument and then tortures his father after Homer unthinkingly signs a form saying he’ll replace the violin if it’s damaged or destroyed.  Since Homer doesn’t want to replace a $400+ instrument, that means fun for Bart until Bart actually attempts to really play it and that causes Homer to spill a beer and that makes Homer go ballistic and destroy the violin anyway.  Feeling relieved, he goes to Moe’s.

And then Moe tosses everyone out after a contentious phone call that isn’t one of Moe’s usual crank calls.  Homer’s personal breathalyzer says he is too drunk to drive, and getting a stray dog to breathe into the device doesn’t work since the dog is even drunker than Homer.  Is drunker a word?  I dunno.  Homer has to use his smartphone to summon a ride home (that would be Marge).

However, that’s when Homer and Marge observe Moe going nuts with more rage than usual and follow him as he goes to an old warehouse.  There they find Moe threatening an old man with one of his loafers.  That’s fine as the old man is using one of his own shoes to threaten Moe.  Who is this old man?  Moe’s father Morty (guest star Ray Liotta).

Yes, it seems Moe is the white sheep of the family.  What does Morty do?  He’s worse than a drug dealer but not as bad as a prescription drug dealer.  He’s a mattress salesman.  He used to run a multi-location store with his kids, Moe, Moe’s Marv, and sister Minnie.  Minnie is voiced by guest star Debi Mazar.  Marv?  Some guy.  I don’t know.  Not everyone is a guest star.

Point is, Morty called Moe for some reason, and Marge takes it upon herself to fix the family feud which involves a lot of removed shoes and threats of beatings with said shoes.  What went wrong?  When Moe was a kid, he refused to poor a jar of bedbugs into a rival store’s mattress supply.  The family that ran that store had no problem doing the same to Morty’s store, and Morty lost all but three locations.  Showing a commercial of the entire family when the kids were still kids manages to fix their tempers, even as Homer resists saying, “I told you so!” because he knows it won’t end well.

It doesn’t end well.

See, Morty wanted to retire and leave one store to each of his kids, but then Marv and Minnie started to sabotage Moe because, well, they’re much worse people than he is.  Marge tries to get Morty to intervene, but that just leads to a stand-off with more jars of bedbugs and Moe finally seeing his family threatening each other with their own shoes, so he opts to just leave the rotten lot of them again.  Sure, he still drops the jar of bedbugs, but he doesn’t need the mattress business.

So, Moe has a family, and he’s the good one?  Somehow, that both does and doesn’t surprise me.

tomk74

Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

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