The Westeros Watch Part Thirty-Three

Here we are.  Two more episodes from season seven.  Jimmy is almost caught up.  Here he is with Tom to discuss the episodes “Eastwatch” and “Beyond the Wall.”

tomk:  Well, that was unexpected.

jimmy:  Not really. I told you Jaime was dead last week!

tomk:  I meant the sudden return of Gendry.

jimmy:  Oh, yes. No one saw that coming.

Jokes aside, how the FORK are they going to defeat the dead now…they’ve got their own dragon!!!

tomk:  He could have still been rowing that boat. That was the online joke about Gendry for ages.

jimmy:  lol

tomk:  Oh, undead dragon…I dunno. Attach a dragonglass point to Qyburn’s dragon killer?

jimmy:  That thing didn’t even work the first time!

tomk:  It came close. It knocked Drogon out of the sky.

Besides, is Viserion a White Walker or a wight? The Night King didn’t have to touch a corpse to make a regular wight as we saw in Hardhome.

jimmy:  I don’t know, but it doesn’t seem like a very good turn of events.

tomk:  No, it isn’t.

But you didn’t expect the dragons to just roast the Night King and be done with it, did you?

jimmy:  Not with a season and one episode left to go, no. 🙂

tomk:  But they did capture a wight. The Westerosi A-Team accomplished its mission.

jimmy:  Jon loves it when a plan comes together.

tomk:  The first time I watched that episode, Jon was the only one I felt for sure wouldn’t die.

jimmy:  And we only lost some Wildling red shirts and Thoros.

Also, Gendry…super, super fast runner.

tomk:  From a narrative perspective, Jon is the only one who is still needed for the main plot, though arguably we still don’t know why Ser Beric didn’t stay dead.

jimmy:  The Lord of Light decided it.

tomk:   That bastard.

jimmy:  Those flaming swords will come in handy though.

And we finally got an answer to what happened to the polar bear from Lost.

tomk:  No wonder this episode made Ryan jumpy…

What do you think of the group that went? The characters were chosen in part because a lot of those folks would have issues with each other.

jimmy:  And there’s not many characters left alive. 🙂

tomk:  Killing off Jorah or Tormund would have been tragic, and after the Red Wedding, thinking the Hound and the Mountain would have to fight it out is too much like expecting things Game of Thrones rarely delivers.

jimmy:  If anything, Game of Thrones has become a bit safer. When’s the last time there was a really big character death? Do the various Tyrell’s count? Tommen maybe counts.

tomk:  I actually agree. At this point, it is more of a typical fantasy series than it was when it started.

The Death Pool that Ryan, Watson, Jenny, and I all joined had each of us guess exactly one death correctly. We all picked seven. Then again, I gave my last pick to Ser Pounce, so you can guess how much I took it seriously.

jimmy:  Ser Pounce’s fate has not yet been revealed!

tomk:  Well, let me just say Ser Pounce was not my one correct death pick and leave it at that.

But I know you’ve questioned the timeline on GoT in the past. Episode six here is the one that made people question it the most given how quickly Dany gets word and somehow finds the Westeros version of The Expendables.

jimmy:  That’s true. And as I alluded to earlier, they seem to go on a multi-day pilgrimage…yet Gendry is able to run back to the Wall in what seems like 5 minutes.

tomk:  Jon and the others were stuck on that island overnight. Assuming they weren’t that far from the Wall for Gendry to run to, how fast can a raven fly to Dragonstone?

But we did get some nice character interactions along the way to stuffing a wight in a burlap sack.

jimmy:  Everyone has to become buddies now to fight together against the ultimate evil.

tomk:  Or just not annoy the Hound too much.

jimmy:  He’s an old, half-burnt softy at heart.

tomk:  He’s no Tormund. After getting in Jorah’s face, Tormund gets along with everybody.

jimmy:  And Jon got to keep his sword after a heart to heart with Jorah.

tomk:  And Tormund and the Hound discussed that fine woman Brienne.

jimmy:  And making giant babies

tomk:  Jon and Ser Beric discussed religion.

jimmy:  Well, they do have a lot in common.

tomk:  And Tormund said Mance was stupid to not bend the knee to keep himself alive.

jimmy:  Do you think he’d be on a pilgrimage with Jon to capture a wight if he was still around?

tomk:  No. He’d have probably died helping Stannis.

jimmy:  Good point.

tomk:  Wildlings are practical people when you get right down to it.

Plus, the Hound told Gendry to grow up over the whole “The Brotherhood sold me to a red headed witch who tried to kill me!” thing.

Really, for an action-packed episode, there was a lot of good character stuff before we learn how to kill a whole mess of wights very quickly.

jimmy:  Cut the head off the snake so to speak.

tomk:  Imagine how many fall over if they jam some dragonglass up the Night King’s frozen ass!

jimmy:  Something is going to happen there, wait and see. Like Jon will stab him through the heart or something with dragonglass or his Valaryan sword, and he won’t be affected.

tomk:  Man, you are such a downer. You sound like Dany’s assessment of what a hero is worth.

jimmy:  Haha

It’s just too “easy”.

tomk:  Except Jon is not a Daario type. Jon doesn’t want glory. He just follows his duty.

And he has a stab wound scar over his heart.

jimmy:  Chicks dig scars.

tomk:  Dudes dig chicks riding giant flamethrower lizards.

Must be why Jon agreed to bend the knee.

jimmy:  Plus he knows that without her they’re all going to die.

tomk:  And she’s onboard now. Next they need to convince Cersei.

jimmy:  That…may be tougher. Jaime on the other hand…

tomk:  Jaime doesn’t have another hand!

jimmy:  Tom’s here all week folks! Please tip your waitress!

tomk:  Jaime turned out better than the other Tarlys.

jimmy:  Yeah, Sam’s gonna be upset. About his brother.

tomk:  If Sam could inherit, he’d be Lord Tarly now instead of Dikon.

jimmy:  Sam has more important parchments to transcribe.

tomk:  Or steal. Gilly found a doozy about Prince Rhaegar too.

jimmy:  Sam wasn’t very interested…

tomk:  Well, he just got shot down by the Maesters over the whole “tell everyone about the White Walkers” plan.

Though they do think he’s a promising lad.

jimmy:  More promising than Bran at least.

tomk:  Bran will do better when he checks the index.

jimmy:  Well, he won’t win them over with his personality.

tomk:  Sam or Bran?

jimmy:  Bran.

tomk:  He’s just trying to sit out the family drama Littlefinger created between Arya and Sansa.

That’s much easier since he can’t stand up.

jimmy:  He brings the funny folks! Mr. Tom Kelly!

tomk:  I thought the segue worked if nothing else.

jimmy:  Indeed. Littlefinger up to his old tricks.

tomk:  So, here’s a question: do you think Arya fell for it?

jimmy:  She’s hard to read.

tomk:  What do you remember about the Game of Faces?

jimmy:  Um…that Rudolph wasn’t allowed to play?

tomk:  It’s what Arya tells Sansa she wants to play when Sansa finds a stray face.

It’s a game from the Faceless Men.

And it’s about telling convincing lies.

jimmy:  Well, they are going up against a master there.

tomk:  So, do you think Arya was really threatening Sansa?

The second time, not the first when Arya said she’d never serve the Lannisters.

Despite the fact she was Tywin’s servant back in season two.

jimmy:  That was a much different time. And she was just trying to stay alive…and routinely thought about killing him.

tomk:  But how much does Arya remember about Ned’s execution? Sansa (and Cersei!) were both protesting it. Heck, Sansa was being held back!

jimmy:  I’m sure she remembers it well. Now, maybe she wasn’t paying close enough attention to Sansa in the midst of it all, but it was obvious (to us anyway) that Sansa was protesting and upset.

tomk:  And Arya was a bit full of it. Both of them suffered in different ways after Ned’s death.

So, did she legitimately threaten Sansa?

jimmy:  Since you keep driving home this point, I’ll say..no. 🙂

tomk:  Well, assassins tend not to hand knives handle-first to intended victims. But the biggest clue was a character-based one. Since when did Arya express a desire to be the Lady of Winterfell? Or anywhere?

jimmy:  Nowhere, Sherlock!

tomk:  Yeah. A lot of fans found Arya’s behavior in this episode very frustrating, but it’s out of character for her, so there’s a good chance she’s faking it to see if Sansa will get the message.

I got that idea. It’s like when people said Dany was being cruel with the Tarlys, but I thought she had crucified a hundred men on the road to Meereen without a trial. She wasn’t suddenly cruel from out of nowhere.

Dany has been that ruthless since she took control of Khal Drogo’s bedroom.

jimmy:  I think Tyrion and Varys had that conversation about her not being her father, but still having a ruthless streak that would need to be kept in line.

tomk:  It’s why having a dissenting voice is important. Tyrion, as we said before, is no Qyburn.

jimmy:  Qyburn should stick to trying to make better weapons to do more than piss off a dragon.

tomk:  Any particular dragons in mind?

jimmy:  Well, she’s only got two left.

tomk:  Well, there is the one named after her weaselly brother…

jimmy:  I’m not sure which is which outside of Drogon. 🙂

tomk:  Well, now you know.

jimmy:  Do I, Tom? Do I?

tomk:  Knowing is only half the battle.

Sometimes you may not want to know things, though. Like how Cersei is pregnant again.

jimmy:  Aren’t all of her children supposed to die before she does? I’d be worried if I was little embryo Jaime Jr.

tomk:  I don’t know. I mean, she did such a good job with the first three; I am sure this one will come out fine.

jimmy:  Let’s have a hand for Tom Kelly, folks! The funniest man in Westeros!

tomk:  There isn’t much competition there. Especially since Ramsay Bolton was eaten by his own dogs.

jimmy:  In fairness to Cersei, even though they all ended up dead, her love for her children was probably her only redeeming quality.

tomk:  Now she loves power.

So, anything else to add before we get to one last episode, Jimmy?

jimmy:  We mentioned Gendry, but I don’t think we really got into Tyrion and Davos’ trip to Kings Landing.

tomk:  Yeah…that was cool.

Someone had to talk to Jaime.

Annnnnnnnd someone had to tell Cersei someone had to talk to Jaime.

jimmy:  But who told Jaime he had to talk to Tyrion?!?!

tomk:  Um…

He read the script?

jimmy:  That’s my line!

tomk:  It was the best answer possible.

Or we could just say it was Bronn.

jimmy:  Or let’s say…Moe.

tomk:  That’s James Earl Jones’ line!

jimmy:  Heh.

So the only other thing that comes to mind is Drogon allowing Jon to pet him.

tomk:  There was one other thing about Jaime I thought worth mentioning: Cersei is so paranoid right now, she’s even having him followed.

jimmy:  Yeah. And I think Jaime is 9/10th done putting up with her.

tomk:  What do you think would put him over the edge?

jimmy:  What a great question. I’m not sure. I don’t think killing Tyrion would necessarily do it. Perhaps endangering everyone a la the Mad King?

tomk:  She’s already used Wyldfire to blow of the Sept of Baelor. That’s pretty damn close and did more than the Mad King ever accomplished.

jimmy:  I just thought about that as well.

tomk:  She’s not hiding the affair anymore. She’s openly plotting against, oh, everybody. She doesn’t seem to care much that Tommen is dead.

She just doesn’t give a fork.

The only people that matter to Cersei right now are Cersei, Jaime, and the unborn baby (if it even exists), and Jaime could probably be turned on if he tried something that went too far.

jimmy:  If it exists…interesting.

tomk:  Well, we don’t know one way or the other. But it isn’t too hard to picture Cersei lying about an unborn child to try and keep Jaime in line.

jimmy:  That’s very true. If she loses Jaime, she really has nothing left.

tomk:  Just the power that she probably has no real right to anyway.

Well, now we’re down to the end. Will Jaime finally turn on Cersei? Will Littlefinger continue to run around Winterfell? Will a captured wight be enough? And what of donuts? For the love of the Seven, tell me!

jimmy:  You tell me, you’re the one that’s seen it. No wait…don’t tell me!

tomk:  You can see for yourself if you like.

And so our Watch continues.  Be back soon when Tom and Jimmy discuss the last (to date) episode “The Dragon and the Wolf.”

tomk74

Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: