Simpsons Did It!: “Whistler’s Father”

Valerie Harper’s back for yet another background character that I couldn’t pick out of a line-up.  Why does she keep doing that?

And who is this Nick Fascitelli, listed as “Professor Whistler”?  Oh, he’s a TV writer.  Never mind.

Our story opens with Marge needing Homer’s help to watch Maggie for a little while.  Why?  Marge’s friends are coming over, namely Luann VanHouten, Helen Lovejoy, and Bernice Hibbert.  Sure, Homer points out all three are busybodies (though Helen is apparently hot), but these are still Marge’s friends.  The women are being asked to decorate a room at the Elementary School for when the bus is late and the children have to wait.

But things go weird.  First, the women pick on Marge’s decorating skills by (accurately) pointing out the garish colors the Simpson house actually is.  Homer, meanwhile, discovers Maggie can whistle extremely well.  Maybe he can make money off that in some sort of Cyrano be Bergerac sort of deal.

As it is, Marge sets out to prove the other women wrong by decorating the room by herself.  She does a great job to the satisfaction of…Fat Tony (still Joe Mantegna).  He has a new property in the form of a former Post Office building he’d like Marge to decorate.

And Homer gets found out quickly by Grampa.  Grampa could whistle quite well as a boy, but he hurt himself doing the Triple Windy on Professor Whistler’s radio show.  Homer can’t whistle at all because that skips a generation sometimes, and no one assumed Marge was the source of the whistling genes.

By the by, how do Bart and Lisa react to Maggie’s talent asked no one?  Bart wonders why he has to be the only Simpson child without any talent, forgetting he has been found to be quite good as basketball, hockey, and jazz drumming.  Lisa wonders briefly about whether she’ll be jealous of another talented sibling.  Then she forgets about it but notices everyone is keeping secrets.  Everyone that isn’t her or Bart that is.  Even the dog and the cat have something going on since they seem to be in love.

Homer, see, takes Maggie to a baby talent show, but he thinks better of it when he sees how badly the kid might turn out, but he’s saved from that when Maggie grows a tooth that keeps her from whistling well during the show.  Marge discovers the building she designed as a brothel, but she finds out Fat Tony’s mother had a P.O. Box there with a letter from the Pope inside, so Fat Tony has to burn the place down.

So, Homer and Marge confess, and they promise to have no more secrets.

And then Homer discovers Marge lets all his pants out because he isn’t a size 32…

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