Unsurprisingly, Ash is a terrible father.
How terrible? Well, he sets Brandy up in his dead sister’s creepy room, doesn’t seem to mind if she skips school, and goes into great detail on the night of what was probably her conception. He also has a flash of having a lot of other unknown children, so he decides to look into that. That means Pablo opens the hardware store while Kelly and Dalton look into whatever Evil is up to. Dalton thinks Pablo’s soul might be in deep trouble with all the symbols crawling over Pablo’s skin, and Pablo is seeing and hearing things that are probably not a good sign.
Of course, Evil is the form of Ruby is up to something. See, Ruby did something with blood and the book to make herself pregnant with another demon baby, but this one is somehow Ash’s progeny, and if Ruby eliminates all of Ash’s possible offspring before killing Ash himself, that will allow the demon baby to inherit whatever it is is special about Ash. In the meantime, Ruby can feed the baby bits of a pair of hitchhikers she managed to capture.
What does this mean for Ash? Well, he goes down to his favorite sperm bank to see if anyone ever took his stuff. That means bribing one of the two attendants with a 30% off coupon for his store, and then he opts to make another deposit in the episode’s title location. Ewwww.
But then Evil shows up. One attendant is killed, the other is a Deadite, and Ash is also attacked by the woman in the centerfold of the magazine he was using to get in the mood. Arms reaching out of magazines isn’t normal.
The bottom line is all of Ash’s cold storage seed seems to have been destroyed, but he realized he needs to protect Brandy, a person who doesn’t seem to like him very much. Granted, Ash’s best advice to Brandy was to not talk about the double homicide she witnessed in the season premier, which is actually good advice if you think about it without getting the law involved.
And then we find out the guidance counselor, the one person at the school Brandy trusts, is also Ruby.
That will not end well.