Simpsons Did It!: “The Town”

There were a lot of guest stars who, I am guessing, all came from the Boston area, but I couldn’t really tell who was who in many cases, so I’ll just list all but one of them here:  Bill Burr, Michael Chiklis, Rachel Dratch, Dana Gould, Mike Mitchell, and Jason Nash.

Remember when Homer hated New York City?  Well, it turns out there’s another city he hates just as much.  That city is Boston.  Why?  Because their hometown football team, the New England Patri…wait, I mean the Boston Americans, keep beating the hometown Springfield Atoms because, according to the people of Springfield but denied by Bostonians who happen to be hanging around for some reason, they cheat.

Actually, it looks like they do.  The mascot is not someone who can carry a pass for a touchdown, but the refs ignore it and the Atoms lose again.  Homer is really upset, but he gets moreso when he goes home to see Bart wearing a Boston Americans baseball cap.  And nothing Homer can do will change the lad’s mind.  Boston, as denoted by movies like The Departed and The Town, is full of hooligans the likes of which Bart respects, and the Americans’ cheatin’ ways is just a big prank, and what’s the Boston Tea Party aside from a prank so good it started a new country?

As such, Homer can’t concentrate, so he needs to show Bart the error of his ways by taking a trip to Boston with the family.  It’s a hate-cation.  Learn to hate the place by going there.

You know, I’ve been to Boston.  Nice place.  I liked it quite a bit.  I don’t see what Homer’s problem is aside from that football team and the fact the town seems to expect them to win all the time no matter what.

As it is, there’s a lot to like in Boston.  Homer tries to cause problems in the Faneuil Hall Marketplace, but that leads to a bobblehead doll accident that has Homer’s life saved by a mob of nearby doctors.  And since Massachusetts health care is almost socialized, someone else will pay for it.  That’s good for Marge, who likes the idea of an accident-prone ragaholic like Homer having access to cheap medical care.  Plus, there’s sunscreen depositors in the park, people are in shape, and the people still believe in vaccines, so they’re liberal but not too liberal as far as social services and such goes.

Lisa finds the big colleges there, like MIT, and loves the place.

Even Homer comes around when Bart shows him candlepin bowling.

The only thing left to do is for the Simpsons to move to Boston, thousands of miles away from Grampa (another bonus).  Homer gets a job as a safety inspector for a candy factory, Lisa is overjoyed to learn her new teacher at the charter school is guest star Doris Kearns Goodwin, and Bart figures he can find a Southie criminal gang easily as soon as he gets sent to detention.

That is until Bart sees detention is a lot of students singing a cappella.

Yeah, Boston isn’t quite the cesspool of criminal hooligans he thought it was.  It’s actually a Lisa sort of place.

Bart wants out.

But the family loves it there!

Well, that means there’s only one thing to do:  take Homer to a Boston Americans victory parade and ask him to put on a hat.  Homer…can’t do that, even in front of what looks like every famous person and stereotype in the city.

So, the Simpsons go back to Springfield, where Bart now has an Atoms cap on.

I kinda worry about Lisa.  She apparently still thinks she is in Boston.  I think Bart broke her…

tomk74

Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

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