Simpsons Did It!: “Paths Of Glory”

Why is it Bart wasn’t sent to an insane asylum sooner, I ask ya?

It’s the day of a big alternate-energy car race for kids, and Lisa’s solar power car is ahead of everything, like the German kid whose name I can’t spell’s hydrogen fuel cell, or Nelson’s Flintstone-mobile, or even Ralph’s Hans Moleman-mistaken-for-a-potato car.

Wait, one of those kids invented a hydrogen fuel cell?

They all did better than the Flanders kids in a prayer-powered car.

But Lisa ultimately loses when the Duff Beer blimp passes in front of the sun and she didn’t set the car for a good enough charge in case of sudden shadows. The boy nerds laugh at her, upsetting Lisa, though she learns from a couple old men about a lady inventor from years gone by named Amelia Vanderbuckle, a laughingstock for those who even remember her. A little research at home shows Amelia had invented a few things, but an steam-powered shaving machine had decapitated an alderman, and while that made Bart a big fan, it also had Amelia sentenced to an old timey asylum for ladies with ambition. Lisa wants to exonerate this woman, and demands Bart help her so that the idea of a woman scientist isn’t automatically laughable.

Cue Grampa who overhears “woman scientist” and starts laughing.

The good news is Lisa and Bart do find the woman’s recorded voice at the long closed asylum, but Bart also finds a psychopath’s journal and thinks the descriptions of killing people is kinda cool, so he swipes the book and takes it with him. That leads to trouble when he shares it with some school chums, but the book scares poor Ralph Wiggum (once it is explained to him what he read), and when the Chief shows up to take Ralphie to their father/son tap class, Ralph passes the disturbing writing off to his father as “Bart’s book”.

The Chief is disturbed and goes to see Marge, telling her Bart might be a sociopath. She and Homer decide to test Bart with an online test, and the family labelmaker doesn’t obscure the test’s real name for long, so Bart, peeved, decides to make himself out to be this sociopath and then do whatever the hell he wants because his parents are now terrified of him.

But then Homer and Marge send Bart to an insane asylum for juvenile sociopaths, and Bart actually does have feelings and doesn’t seem himself as the only real person there. Oh, and the military is secretly running the place to allow these kids to fly drones.

While all this is going on, Lisa is paired off with Milhouse and finds Amelia’s final journal is buried under a Hooters-style restaurant. Using a disguised Groundskeeper Willie, she gets the journal back and successfully builds Amelia’s last known invention: a steam-powered loom that actually is a computer. Neat!

Say, ever see or read Ender’s Game, where the simulation is later revealed to be real? Funny story: Bart is told that after he aces a test, and he gets upset over killing people and starts crying…unlike the other kids there. Then it turns out the simulation really was a simulation, so that means Bart is healthy and sent home, to everyone’s relief.

Especially Homer’s, since he figures out how to use the loom to get him Internet porn. I’m sure next week’s episode will see Homer navigating his way around sites like dosexvideo.com, though I’m not sure anybody wants to see that.

 

tomk74

Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

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