Simpsons Did It!: “Dangers On A Train”

We’ve seen the Simpson marriage in trouble in the past.

Have we ever seen it when it was Marge that was the problem spouse?

That’s the question we can ask.  After a brief flashback to Homer and Marge’s first anniversary with baby Bart in tow, during which Homer scoffs at everyone who said it wouldn’t last a year (Grampa stands by his wedding toast), we cut to the present and Homer looking to give Marge a wonderful tenth anniversary present.  That means a trip to the mall where he celebrated his first to see if the large kiddie train, the Li’l Lisa, is still there.

Lisa isn’t pleased to learn she was named after a train, but apparently so was Bart.

Bad news for Homer:  the train is a mess and it’s being taken down to be replaced by a medical marijuana stand.  But hey, the guys there will let Homer take the train home.  That gives Homer a good idea:  refurbish the train in secret and surprise Marge.  To do so, he’ll enlist the guys at Moe’s plus known train enthusiast Reverend Lovejoy.

But what about Marge?  She was in the act of ordering Homer his favorite snack foods, Dolly Madison brand, but she accidentally joined Sassy Madison instead, a website for cheaters with a catchy jingle much like Ashley Madison.  Wait, does Ashley Madison have a catchy jingle?  I only heard it once on Last Week Tonight with Jon Oliver when the site got hacked and a bunch of sleazeballs got exposed in a nice moment of karma.  Once she realizes what she’s done, Marge spends a lot of time trying to politely let all the wannabe cheaters down.  But then along comes Ben (guest star Seth MacFarlane).  Ben won’t give up, and he keeps sending Marge messages, and she kinda likes them because he seems kinda nice, he has a wonderful voice, and they both love Upton Rectory, some sort of classy British soap opera/drama that runs on public television and sure sounds an awful lot like Downton Abbey.  When Ben can’t see an episode, he convinces Marge to let him see it through Skype as Ben’s wife Ramona (guest star Lisa Lampanelli) is watching a reality show about repo men who repossess zoo animals.

As it is, Homer’s behavior in keeping the train a secret is just awfully suspicious looking to Marge, and when Homer fakes throwing his back out on the actual day and asks Marge to go clear across town for some painkillers, she seriously considers going to see Ben instead.

Then she gets home to see the refurbished train, redubbed the “Majestic Marge,” and all is forgiven.  Aw.

She’s even able to diffuse things when Ramona and Ben come over, Ramona furious that Marge is sneaking around with Ben.  OK, she isn’t, and Homer’s own temper is diffused when he is told they were enjoying a stuffy British drama instead of a saucy comedy, and Marge was trying to order him snack food.

So, as Ramona takes Ben home to check his Internet browser history, something he didn’t know you could do, all seems to be working out for everyone.  Sure, Ben tries Sassy Madison again, but that just got him a date with a smokin’ woman…namely Selma.  That’ll learn him.

By the way, kudos to Maggie for being able to put a big letter “A” on Ben with a ketchup bottle.

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