Gravity Falls “The Stanchurian Candidate”

You know, after all the weird ongoing plot stuff, it might be nice to just do a screwy comedy episode.

Hey, what if Stan ran for the office of mayor of Gravity Falls?

Why would Stan do that?  Well, with his brother Ford around, he just feels disrespected and worthless.  Mabel uses his slippers to transport milk, Dipper uses all the lightbulbs to make a planetarium suit for Soos, and then after being badgered by awful teenagers while buying lightbulbs (or attempting to shoplift them depending on how much he meant what he shouted), he gets home to find out Ford just invented a new kind of bulb that will last a thousand years and make your skin softer somehow.  It just stinks being Stan when Ford is right there.

But then Stan sees the elderly mayor died, so there’s an election in Gravity Falls.  Stan might not care to literally throw his hat in the ring (the way to nominate yourself is tossing your hat through an actual ring), but then there’s something off about the one guy who is running, namely Bud Gleeful, Li’l Gideon’s dad.  What does he do to get votes?  Well, he gives out 50% off coupons for a used car to start.  That just prompts Stan, disgruntled, to toss his fez through that dang hoop.  So do a lot of other people after that.

Will it work?  Well, Stan’s family and friends will help out, but in his first radio interview he says the flag has too many stripes so he doesn’t like it, and then suggests the best education is letting kids into the woods to fend for themselves and maybe teach them some swearwords.  The interview is cut short…by Dipper who clipped the phone cord with a pair of scissors.

Is there anything anyone can do?  Well, Ford offers Dipper a mind control neck tie.  And hey, it works.  Using it, Dipper and Mabel take over Stan in his stump speech (on an actual stump) and make him super popular.  Stan doesn’t remember how that happens, so he isn’t too happy to find out not only was it because of an invention of his brother’s but also that the kids don’t trust him.

The only thing left to do is win the debate.  This is Gravity Falls, where everyone is a tad strange except oddly enough the guy named Tad Strange.  He’s normal.  Point is, to win the debate, voters toss birdseed at the candidate they like, and when the thing is over, an eagle is released to kiss the winning candidate and that guy becomes the mayor.

This town is nutty.

But why does Bud want to be mayor?  Well, he doesn’t.  If he is mayor, he can pardon his son/campaign manager.  And when Bud wants to back out, well, Gideon has one page of his former journal left and he can use it to possess his father.  So, while the kids no longer control Stan, Gideon does control Bud, and he manages to tie up Dipper and Mabel in a stone head full of explosives to be set off when the debate is over and Bud/Gideon wins the election.

But then Stan finds out and rushes off to save the kids before the debate is over.  That act of selflessness, bravery, and split second timing when the explosives go off actually lets Stan win the debate.  The eagle kisses him, and then he’s disqualified because he has a wrap sheet longer than anyone’s arm, including crimes Stan somehow made up.

Stan ultimately doesn’t mind.  He got the respect he wanted.

Oh, who’s the mayor?  Local enthusiasm enthusiast Tyler Cutebiker.  That’s nice.

Not so nice?  Gideon wants out of prison bad enough to cut a deal with Bill Cypher…

tomk74

Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

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