Jimmy Ranks The 2017 Movies He’s Seen

I don’t see a lot of movies.  Especially compared to my fellow Gabbing Geeks.  Watson sees pretty much every movie that gets released in the run of a year.  Tom is not too far behind, seeing at least a new release or two most weeks.  Even Ryan with his two kids and multiple jobs and numerous trips stalking following Lin-Manuel Miranda around has seen more than I have.  And I think Jenny only saw 9 movies last year, but she saw them all like 10 times, so that’s a lot of hours at the multiplex.

Regardless of the number, this is the first time I’ve kept track of the movies I’ve seen in a given year and given them a grade.  After each movie I viewed, I gave them a rank off the top of my head and recorded that score in a spreadsheet like Watson taught me to.  I tweaked a few things after the fact, but for the most part all scores are my initial impressions out of 10.

To mix things up a bit from my colleagues lists, I’ve done mine in tiers.  So here they are, with minimal commentary:

9.5 – The Granite Face With Huge Hair Tier

  • Logan – There is always talk around the Gabbing Geek offices about a Superhero Mt. Rushmore. Logan deserves a spot on there.

9 – The Wonder Woman Deserves Her Own Tier Tier

  • Wonder Woman – Why can’t all DCEU movies be like this? I still prefer Logan in this strong superhero movie year, but it’s up there as one of the best ever.

8.5 – The In Any Other Year Tier

  • Thor: Ragnorak – Was there anything at the theatres that was more fun this year?
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming – The best Spidey since Spider-Man 2. Who would have thought the Vulture would be an awesome villain?
  • Get Out – The second funniest movie at the theatres this year. What? It’s not a comedy? Oh right. But it was still excellent.
  • Dunkirk – Another masterfully crafted film from Christopher Nolan.
  • War For The Planet Of The Apes – A step down from Dawn, but a solid ending to a surprisingly good trilogy.
  • Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 2 – Did you like Vol 1? Than you’ll like Vol 2.
  • Split – I’ve never been a big M. Night Shyamalan fan and thought this looked weird. But it ended up being quite good with a very intriguing twist.

8 – The Disappointing Sequels(?), Overrated Dog, A Blonde And A Baby Tier

  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi – I’m not a lover (Ryan) or a hater (Watson). A bit of a disappointment, but still worth the 2.5 hours (mostly).
  • Fate of the Furious – A furious third act saves this from a worse fate.
  • John Wick: Chapter Two – I enjoyed the first one more. And agree with Ryan that they seemed too preoccupied with setting up Chapter Three.
  • Baby Driver – I liked this, but not as much as the other geeks. Probably the greatest synchronicity between movie and music ever.
  • Atomic Blonde – Not as atomic as advertised, but a decent enough spy thriller.
  • Despicable Me 3 – I don’t see a lot of kids movies, but have enjoyed these.
  • Megan Leavey – Ms. Impossible and I are huge dog lovers, so I see a lot of dog movies. And likely overrate them.

7.5 – The Perfectly Cromulent Tier

  • IT – Is it wrong that I still prefer the original mini-series?
  • Beauty and the Beast – Musicals are not my bag baby. Ms. Impossible loved it.
  • A Dog’s Purpose – See Megan Leavey
  • The Girl With All The Gifts – A solid adaptation of the excellent book. Unfortunate that it couldn’t find a bigger audience.

7 – The Sorta Good But Not The Greatest Tier

  • Justice League – I’m not a lover (Watson) or a hater (Ryan?). Has it’s moments, but a disappointing first attempt at DC’s super friends.
  • Kong: Skull Island – Exactly what you’d expect.
  • Blade Runner 2049 – I think 2049 was also the run time. Was a bit more interesting once Harrison Ford showed up in hour 5.
  • Alien: Covenant – Was it a Prometheus sequel? Alien prequel? Both? Neither. We’re still trying to figure out.
  • Lego Batman Movie – The Lego Movie was surprisingly fun. This felt like it should have been direct to video.
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales – Better than Pirates 2 and 3. Which is not difficult.
  • The Dark Tower – If you know nothing of the Dark Tower books, it’s a passable action/fantasy film. However, if you know anything about King’s magnum opus…

6.5 – The Can’t Be Saved By Skin Tight Suits Tier

  • Ghost In The Shell – Watch the anime version instead.
  • Underworld Blood Wars – I enjoyed the first couple of these. Now…not so much.

6 – The Christine Sixteen Tier

  • Before I Fall – If I was a 16 year old girl and hadn’t seen Groundhog Day or Edge of Tomorrow, I might love this movie.

5 – The Bruce Willis Needs Work Tier

  • Once Upon A Time In Venice – A very recognizable cast including Bruce Willis, John Goodman and Jason Momoa make one of the worst films of the year.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: