Simpsons Did It!: “Ned ‘n Edna’s Blend Agenda”

So, apparently, Ned and Edna got married.  Good for them.  That’s, like, Flanders’ third time.

How did this come about?  Well, the church is putting on a passion play, and Ned is auditioning to play Jesus for the fifth year running.  Unfortunately, the play’s director Chazz Busby wants a louder, more emphatic Jesus.  Homer, who didn’t really care up to that point, loves the idea of being the center of attention and easily gets the role.

After he finds out he has to learn a lot of lines and appear in every scene, Homer laments his ability to win every role he auditions for.

So, while Ned sits off to the side as a silent Pharasee, will Homer ruin the play?

Actually…no, he won’t.  Lisa strongly suggests he learn his lines because Jesus is, like, really important to a heck of a lot of people and this moment is the cornerstone of the Christian faith.  Homer actually takes this advice to heart and learns his lines, doing such a good job that even Ned is impressed, and here he was praying to God to not see how Homer was going to ruin everything.

Yup, everything is going well until the cross collapses under Homer’s weight and he lands on top of Ned.  Ned is being rushed to the hospital when Mrs. Krabappel rushes in to say she can come since she and Ned got married at some point in secret.  Aw.

Didn’t Homer say he would eat his hat if Flanders remarried?  Well, he did.  Fortunately, the crown of thorns he’s wearing is made of licorice.

See, the people of Springfield make a big deal out of everything, so the happy couple got married only in the presence of Ned’s beatnik parents.  Marge offers to throw them a world-class party, something that makes the other women in town jealous, and it’s going so well until the conflict no one knew was coming came:  parenting.

See, Edna knows about education, so when she gets a load of the religious school Rod and Tod attend, she convinces Ned to let the boys attend Springfield Hellementary (as Ned calls it).  Soon, the boys have temporary Disney tattoos and light-up sneakers, and Ned has nightmares of Rod or Tod graduating from an elite Northeastern university with a degree in comparative religions.  That leads to a fight at the party, and Ned spends the night with the Simpsons where he sees Homer and Marge are still fighting over parenting.

That leads to a reconciliation between Ned and Edna at a school assembly because, well, let’s face it, she did overstep and he did overreact.

So, they’ll be winging it like Homer and Marge from here on out.

Unlike Homer, Ned will not be making personal appearances as Jesus at the opening of a check-cashing business.  Homer seems to get hit by lightning a lot that way.

tomk74

Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

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