Simpsons Did It!: “The Spy Who Learned Me”

It was probably only a matter of time before a fictional character like Homer had to learn lessons from a character that was fictional even to him.

That’s, like, super-meta.

Marge and Homer are out at the movies.  But Homer keeps going the Mystery Science Theater 3000 route on the movie, a story about superspy Stradivarius Cain, who seems to be some kind of American version of James Bond with guest star Bryan Cranston’s voice.  Marge is getting mighty sick of Homer’s antics, but pointing out no one enjoys his zingers only reveals that Lenny and Carl, sitting two rows behind the Simpsons, very much enjoy Homer’s zingers.  This is the worst date night Homer and Marge have had since they saw the movie Date Night.

That reference is so dated, I felt like I had to include the IMDB link!

Now, the last time Marge told Homer off at the movies, Homer revealed he carries himself with a quiet dignity that Marge robbed him of.  That led to all kinds of shenanigans.  Here, Homer realizes Marge is really, really mad at him and tries to make things up to her.  That doesn’t seem to work, though fortune may be smiling on him when Mr. Burns hits a ladder Homer is standing on with a cart, knocking Homer to the ground and giving him a serious concussion.  Only advise from a lawyer keeps Homer off the Plant’s floor, instead giving him eight weeks paid time off to get better.

That sounds like good news, so Homer goes home to share it.  But Marge is still mad at him for the night before, Bart is upset because Nelson keeps taking his lunch money, Lisa is doing something on her saxophone, and Grampa wants reassurance that he isn’t a ghost.  Neither Maggie nor the pets nor Homer’s own reflection in a mirror look all that pleased to see him, so he opts to keep his good fortune to himself.

Even the next day, when he makes up the idea of taking a sick day to spend with Marge goes nowhere because she has errands and things to do.  Depressed, Homer sees the beauty around town before wandering to Moe’s after 12 so he can still claim not to be an alcoholic.  But even Moe doesn’t want to deal with Homer because the raccoons in his store room have finally pushed him over the edge.  Can anything help Homer?

Yes!  Stradivarius Cain can!

Cain is here because Homer’s head injury means he can hallucinate help, and Cain is an expert on pleasing women, so he offers to give Homer some points as long as Cain can continue to avoid other imaginary friends like Lenny’s.  That Snuffalupagus-lookin’ thing slept with Cain’s girlfriend apparently…

Wait, back up, what was that about Bart and Nelson?  Well, Bart was tired of having his lunch money stolen, so when Nelson leaves the room and Bart sees a Supersize Me-style documentary on Krustyburger, where documentarian Declan Desmond (returning guest star Eric Idle) gains massive amounts of weight eating nothing but Krustyburger food, Bart gets Nelson a bag of the stuff and a coupon book under the logic that a morbidly obese Nelson would be too fat to punch.  That turns out to be right, but Lisa is so outraged by Nelson’s sudden weight gain that she takes the bully to Krusty to demand action.  Krusty in turn gives Nelson over to his personal trainer to get the kid in superhero shape, which is somewhere between Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine and Alycia Silverstone’s Batgirl.  That works too well and now a much more muscular Nelson is punching out everybody in the schoolyard, including Principal Skinner at one point.

That’s the B-plot.  Back to Homer.

You know, for a figure of his imagination, Cain offers good advice.  Like, clean up the car.  And Cain even shows Homer how to seduce women at a fancy party, something Homer isn’t good at at first until Cain feeds him a line that works very well on a woman who turns out to be married to Bolivian man in the Scarface mode.  Quick thinking with a lime gets Homer away, but then Marge finds out Homer has been off on disability the previous six weeks.  No wonder he was going to work on time!  Marge sure is mad, but then Cain recommends telling Marge the truth.

And that calms her down.

Though Homer does leave off the part about a fictional spy helping him be a better husband.

But as the two are out , that Bolivian man comes back, and Homer desperately needs Cain’s help, though Marge sure is understanding when Homer explains why the Bolivian is so mad at Homer.  A couple knocks to the head give Homer various possible advisers, but Cletus the Fox NFL robot stuck around longest until Homer reminded the bot that nobody liked him.  Then Cain stepped out of his robot suit and advised Homer to just tell the man the same story he used on the man’s wife.

And that also worked.

So, happy endings all around for the A-plot, not so much for the B-plot, but you get the idea.

How did Homer get a hallucination that was better with people than he normally is anyway?

tomk74

Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

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