Simpsons Did It!: “Rednecks And Broomsticks”

Yesterday, we had a pair of plots that were really weird and didn’t meet up.

Today we have a pair of plots that are really weird and work out together in the end.

The Simpsons are returning from a weekend of skiing by leaving the lodge in the wee hours of Sunday to avoid traffic.  They hit traffic anyway, and the only form of entertainment the children have is some sort of “Bop It” toy that drives Homer (and, to be fair,  Marge, but Homer’s driving) crazy, so he smashes the second one (don’t ask) on the floor and that won’t let him push the brake pedal down and off the family car goes over a frozen lake.

Fortunately, the Simpsons are rescued by Cletus.  As the family recuperates, Homer reveals to the astonished Deliverance types a taste for moonshine.  He can, it seems, really appreciate the stuff with his fine palette.  And while Bart has fun with hand grenades Brandine brought back from Iraq, Lisa gets lost in the woods.  She gets momentarily freaked out when she spots a pair of robed figures doing something by a bubbling cauldron, but then a third named Cassandra (guest star Neve Campbell, forever typecast by The Craft) finds Lisa and reveals they’re just a trio of harmless Wiccans, a religion Lisa seems to associate with witchcraft…wait, Lisa did that?  Lisa?  Wouldn’t she, I dunno, know better than that?  She isn’t Bart.

Oh well.  Lisa didn’t do some pipe cleaner art project, and the Wiccans promise to cast a spell so she still gets an “A”.  That happens when Miss Hoover is out sick and everyone gets an “A”.  Something of a believer now, Lisa goes back to the Wiccans to see if she can join them.  They seem amenable, and while doing some research into a group she feels she might belong to, Ned Flanders spots the computer she’s using and calls the local witchfinders.  It has been 12 years since the last witchcraft trial in Springfield, so it is overdue.

So, I guess Lisa’s Buddhism wasn’t so solid after all…

Why the cops go to arrest the young Wiccans, who can say?  The sirens cause Homer and the hillbillies to panic and dump their moonshine before the cops show up, and the cops aren’t even looking for them.  Homer was actually judging a competition.

But the Wiccans are arrested and the trio say they’ve cast a spell of retribution.  Half the town goes blind, including Dr. Hibbert and his nurse just before the two were to perform surgery, making we wonder once again what kind of doctor Hibbert actually is.  Fortunately, Hans Moleman can see well enough to do the incision on himself.

That sounds so wrong.

Well, now that there’s some evidence, and a freaked out Cassandra reveals her name is actually Stacy, there really isn’t any evidence for the court.  Of course, there’s still an angry mob.  It is Springfield after all.  As the Mayor points out, they are a society of laws, but it’s seventeenth century laws.  Time to bring out the dunking chair…

Oh, wait, this is where the two plot lines merge.  Lisa figured out the blindness.  It was caused by the moonshine the hillbillies dumped getting into the local reservoir.  It’s moonshine-based temporary blindness, the kind Homer and his sensitive tongue can prove by sipping some river water.  The Wiccans are free to go, the mob can chase Moe since he’s Moe and he’s happy to see the mob go after anybody, and Homer can enjoy the dunking chair.

That also sounds so wrong.

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